I Believe The Children Are The.....Odd Future

Greetings and salutations!

My daughter asked me to write this blog to give my take on Odd Future & Tyler the Creator.

Why?

She wanted me to get on my soapbox (that you all know I love to climb on) and give my honest, deepest thoughts about this young rap group, who she LOVES. No seriously, she thinks they are the best thing since the invention of toilet paper. I have no idea how she even discovered this clique but once she did, I think I've heard more about fuckin' dolphins and raping blow up dolls than I care to know.

So......here it is.

{{ PAUSE}}

Yes, I think they're talented. *hanging my head low*

And I even like some of their shit. *hanging my head R E A L low*

Okay, here's the deal. As an author and a poet (tho' I haven't written much lately) I love language, imagination and WHOLEHEARTEDLY support freedom of speech. When I first heard anything from this group, I think it had to be one of their songs called "Goblin"....and yeah...the beats....the music had me. I wasn't really sure what the hell he was talking about but the tone of his voice was cool. Who is he....Tyler the Creator. Yeah.....this guy. ---->

I'm gathering he's the ring leader of their foolishness and if not, he definitely is the more outspoken in the interviews and definitely in his "expression" of imagination.

I HATED....HATED.....do you hear me? HATED everything Tyler the Creator, Odd Future, Frank Ocean and whatever else was seeping out their lyrics, spilling into my kids. The stuff they were saying and their thoughts were just out of line. So much so, I put my daughter in therapy. She was talking about raping dolphins and sticking fingers in people's asshole and drinking ram's blood. WTF?! She was even dropping "friends" that didn't like their music. *smh*

S/N: She didn't go into therapy because of them....but I really think when she found her voice in their music....she let it all hang out...and I had to reel her back in.

Every single time my kids got in the car they played their music....so one day....(and yes, here is well I tell my dirty little secret)....one day....I was driving to the grocery store....and they left their cd in my car.....I took that shit, squeezed it in my fist and chunk the bits out the fuckin' window! (I got flows too)! So yeah, I know yall reading this....so now you know!

So when I finally got them to calm down over the music and I guess time does heal all wounds (hahaha they were so devastated when they couldn't find their cd! hahahaha)....I finally listened. And it wasn't half bad. I'm a parent but shit, I ain't old!! And maybe it's not the content that I like....but the music, the beats....I dig.

Besides, with a few of the "big" names in the music industry, who are packaged to entertain more than I THINK their "talent" upholds *Cough!*Drake*Cough! Cough!* ....ahem.....This group ain't hurtin' anybody. Just a bunch of kids....acting a fuckin' fool....doing what kids do....*shrug* I just don't think they need to be so controversial or "out there" to make waves....because I actually think they're on to something.

And now that I've admitted, that I can tolerate their shananigans to enjoy their tracks....it makes me sad. Not sad because I wanted so badly to take them all...line 'em all up and whoop ASS....but sad because there are no more FATHERS MAKING BABY BOYS to carry on the last name....HIP HOP.

What did I lose you?

Ha! I figured I would. So sit down. Let me 'splain it to you, Lucy!

Ok....check it:

Everybody knows that....well, it's at least customary that the male child carry on the family name. When he's married, the woman will then, too...inherit that name. It is the FAMILY name. Even when a woman assumes her husband's last name, for identity purposes, MANY places...most legal documents and forms, require her maiden name....again....taking it back to her father's name. Hell, even the most asked piece of verbal identity, "What's your mother's maiden name". Family names are the shit....solid and forever.


When Hip Hop was born.....Music had a MALE child.

Over time, as we watched Hip Hop grow up and marry a few times....to rock, jazz....even country....it stayed...Hip Hop. Early on, it fathered many male children....with songs and artists like, "Walk This Way"(Run DMC) , "Don't Believe The Hype" (Public Enemy) and "Check The Technique" (Gang Starr), maaaaannnn...I could go on and on....but like time has gone on....girls are being born. And we all know...when she get married, she's gonna take on another name....then she goes on to birth more girls...and they birth more girls.......perpetuating the dilution of HIP HOP....straying further away from the strength of the family name. *smh*

Half the shit we listen to is so BITCH MADE, you can't even call it Hip Hop. Seriously, you know how it is at family reunions, when those 4th removed cousins show up. They know absolutely nothing about the family history but after they see the greatness and POWER of the family name - now they wanna claim it. hahahaha....C'mon now....you KNOW how that is....we all have 'em in the family. They don't even resemble the family any more...they don't carry themselves like those with the thicker bloodline. But yet, they're running around...."I'm [insert family name]"....but those truly rooted in the bloodline, are like..."whatever. No, I'm [insert family name]...You're [insert whatever]". Truth be told, if we keep going at the rate we're going, there won't be any blood left in the line...

Just as it is with Hip Hop. We have all these artists, claiming to be hip hop....but they're not. I don't know what they are...but they ain't hip hop. I was there...I grew up next door to him. I used to talk to 'em on my front porch, invited 'em to sleepovers....I know Hip Hop!

I know when my kids get to be my age and older....the shit they listen to now....who's gonna want to put on Soulja Boy, Lil Wayne, Nikki Minaj, Big Sean.....and whatever else is hot right now??

NOBODY!! Nobody in their right gotdamn mind is gonna be supermanning that hoe or giving two shits about what shade of pink will Friday be on Monday. But I can guarantee....and promise you.....put on "Self Destruction", "Me, Myself and I" or better yet...muthafuckin' "Rapper's Delight" or "The Message" and watch the party start.

THOSE are male children, still strong and rich in the bloodline. They will carry on for generations and people will always recognize them. People who may not have even had a personal relationship with 'em, will be able to just look them in the face and know the family name..."oh, that's Hip Hop". I mean, I know for me....and my family.....folks can tell...."Oh, you're a Creswell or you're a Cooks". Yep". All day, every day. But this shit today, what they're selling us called music.....got folks asking...."Who yo daddy is"?

*sigh*

So, while I think Odd Future is holding their own, minus their fuckery (which sometimes is actually pretty damn funny)....more girls have been born.

With this being said....music today sucks donkey balls...

And of course......you know how I feel about what I've said. Go a'head...

quote me if you like.....

You Got It Going On....wha wha!!

WHAT HAPPENED???

Kim, baby....where'd you go?  Who did this to you?

Back in 1990whatever....when she first hit the scene, I was like...."Yeah! That's what's up"!  Little Kim was like....my hero.  Feisty, hardcore, sassy, sexy and SHORT!  I was freshly out of high school and not that I was lacking any self confidence but....yeah....I got teased a lot about being short and people would underestimate my "bite", if you will.  So when Kim came on the scene, as hard as she was....holding her own,  folks weren't so quick to size me up. (((insert palm punch)))

WHAT HAPPENED???  Why is she nipped, tucked and beat the fuck up?  She took herself out of the game.  I was so disturbed by that whole Nikki Minaj beefing segment recently.  I felt like it was beneath the caliber of who Lil Kim was....what she used to be.  Frankly, I don't know how there was ever any comparison between the two because they are CLEARLY two different artist...it was like comparing apples to oranges. You either like one or the other, maybe even prefer one more but neither one is "wrong". 

But when I see Kim looking like Putty Patty Pancake face, it makes me feel like....maybe she thinks she's losing or she has something to prove. Nah, Mama.....

This is when you PROVED it!

NOT!

I understand wanting to correct an imperfection or two....but when you no longer resemble yourself....suntin' suntin' juss not riiiiiiggghhht!  I've had cosmetic surgery and it was probably the most excruciating pain I have EVER experienced in my life so that alone makes me amazed that people like Kim, Michael Jackson, Vivica A. Fox and many other celebs continue to hack away at themselves. Do we really hate ourselves that much??

I believe that cosmetic surgery can become addictive.  You get one thing done then you get another thing done and every time you go in, you see something else that could stand to be pulled and tugged.  It'll just keep going and going until you look like this:

I won't even front...I've thought about getting a breast lift, Brazilian butt lift and getting lipo on my inner thighs. I've had the consultations and everything.  But at the end of the day and everyday, I get older and everything is getting older too and gonna fall, eventually.  I don't intend on chasing after it with a knife every other year.  

And where do they get the "look" that they're going for?  hahahaha I mean, I know looking at these faces I wouldn't just.....like......pick one of these.  hahahahahaha....

"Yes, doctor....give me the smallest, pointiest chin you have and slip hard boiled eggs under my eyes for cheekbones.....ahhhhh....Alien.....Perfect!  Ohhh....yuck, take this nose! I don't need that thing!"

We've got to learn to love who we are and if it's not what we want it to be....at least embrace it enough to appreciate it.  I'd be a hypocrite to say, "don't get cosmetic surgery" but we gotta learn when to stop.

This was hot:

This is not!!

What did Biggie Say??

"Tryin' get that old thing back...."

too late....

and you can quote me if you like!

Your INK STINKS!!!

It's not nice to call somebody a dumb ass to their face, right?  Well, I guess I'll do it more privately and post it up on the internet:

YOU'RE A DUMB ASS!!

Really???  Really?

Like what was the motivation behind this?  I guess he gives the meaning to "Put your money where your mouth is"? But doesn't that mean being wholly invested in a cause....a belief....in full support???  So what the hell is he supporting?  DUMBFUCKOLOGY???  He CAN NOT have any desire to be more than what he is....and I'm hoping whatever that IS does not include the title "father".  *smh*

Oh go straight to hell with me if you think I'm passing judgement.  I think it's p r e t t y fucking safe to say...this jackass is an i'gnant sommomobatch.... If being prejudice or racially profiling should ever exist, here is the reason why! He alone set back ANY advancement of colored people.   I have tattoos (LOTS OF 'EM) but I also have a job!  Why? Because as a person with ambition and desire to support myself and my family, I have the brain to understand that my personal life should never spill over into my professional life.  WHERE IS HIS MAMA??

I mean, to each his own but some shit is just ridiculous....and painfully permanent.  When he walked into the tattoo shop.....or sat down at the kitchen table to "consult with his tattoo dude"....the tattoo dude didn't think for one second to say....."yo, that's not a good look"?  No?  I'm not my brother's keeper, huh?  None of that, right?

As a person, that love tattoos and all things ART.....I find this extremely disturbing.  Like I wanna really just go up to him and slap the shit outta him!!!  I wanna slap him to where my fingertips sting, throb and feel all prickly. I wanted to help him by saying...this was his first tattoo....but OBVIOUSLY....this isn't his first tattoo.  I'm willing to say.....maybe our first tattoos aren't the most thought out tattoo. We're just excited to finally get inked.   That's fair right?  I mean, I know my first tattoo....pretty good quality...but it's a heart and a rose with MY name in a banner. Yeah, like I'm gonna forget my name, right?  Wasn't the brightest....and I can admit that.  But it's also not BLAZING for all to see the capacity of my 18 year old imagination.  I've grown up since then.....give me some credit.

So here's my public service announcement:

"Hey, you!  Dumbass!  Check this out....Before you go to Lil Skeet up the block, that just got outta juvy to get your tattoo, make sure that mothafucka knows what he's doing....and remember one day, you may not like Sponge Bob, Captain America, or even your baby mama/baby daddy.  Yes, it's permanent.....much like your spot in the unemployment line because you inked "FREE MY N*GGA BOOSIE* on your forehead.  I wish I could tell you that your tattoo dude has your best interest but if you're only paying $20 - chances are.....he just wants your money and don't give a shit about this commitment.  You really do get what you pay for.....so at least pay attention to the implications of what this masterpiece can hold in the future.  But hey....who am I? *shrug*  Yo' dumbass is gonna do what you wanna do....YOLO!"

Bet they're not feeling the love right about now!

 No matter how we slice it....dumb is fucking dumb is fucking dumb...

So, have we learned anything boys and girls???

oh......quote me if you like.....