Trayvon, I'm sorry....

As things begin to wrap up with the State vs. George Zimmerman, my heart is aching.  I've taken a strong interest in the outcome of this case because I wanted to see just how fancy they'd be trying to wiggle and defend what he's done and all of the lies he's told. I was interested in seeing just how far we've progressed as a society.  Most importantly, my interest is extremely high in the outcome because  I have a son.

My son is Black.

My son is tall.  

My son is slender. 

My son is athletic.

My son is in good health.

My son has smoked weed. 

My son knows how to defend himself.

My son walks to the store sometimes when it's dark out.

My son wears hoodies and drinks Arizona Teas.

My son is NOT a suspicious person and neither was Trayvon.  

The cold and hard realization of racism, profiling, stereotyping and entitlement can not be ignored in this case.  We can all dance or slide over these underlying currants but the facts of the matter, they exist.  Nobody wants this to be a "racial" issue but it is.  Why was he ever a "suspicious person"? What made him so suspicious??? 

Because George Zimmerman didn't know him? He didn't know George Zimmerman but he didn't pursue him either.Was he suspicious because he wore a hoodie? 
I didn't know it was a particularly odd thing to cover your head when its raining.  So what made him suspicious? So suspicious and menacing that George Zimmerman became so hellbent on  "catching him" and that all of his supposed "fear" was thrown aside?  What made Trayvon suspicious?  Because he was Black.

If you're not a person of African descent, it's very hard for you to understand exactly what IT IS to be Black in America.  Being a woman of African descent, even I can't fully understand what it is to be a BLACK male in America, but I understand and can relate as I've experienced profiling personally in my life. That's not to say that non-blacks can't empathize with the experience but they will never fully understand what life is like to be measured by stereotypes for no reason other than skin color. They will never understand that WE are guilty until proven innocent, when the law clearly gives us the right to be innocent unless proven otherwise. Even in death and unable to tell his side, Trayvon is on trial and apparently, they've proven him guilty of being the one that caused his own death.

We've all speculated as to what would have happened had Trayvon been white and George had been black.  What if they were both white?  What if they were both black? What if Trayvon had the gun and killed George?  I confidently believe that if the races were switched, George would have been arrested on the night of the shooting and this case would be over and George would be on his way to prison.  If it had of been Trayvon who shot George out of self defense, he would have been on his way to prison.  It just is...what it is.  Hate me if you want, but it IS the truth from where I stand.  How sad it is a world we live in that a kid can't walk to the store without being profiled and suspected as being up to no good.  How sad it is a world we live in that a kid can't fight with all his might and will, to defend himself when he was being followed by a grown man, with a gun, that he didn't know....who was lurking....and following him.  How sad that he wasn't given the right and continues to be denied the same rights that George Zimmerman was given. Why is it that Trayvon's self defense isn't being considered in the arguments at all??  Oh, I'm sorry! My mistake it is being considered only not in the light and truth.  That ass kicking George received was him defending himself.... and they've turned it around to be Black aggression and fear for George.

The sad, sad part about this all..... *pause*........NONE of this had to happen.  It all happened because George Zimmerman MADE it happen.  

Trayvon, I'm sorry this world we live in have quantified and reduced the value of your life and the lives of so many young men, like you....like my son.  I'm sorry this world will allow people to develop games and set up Facebook pages to make sadistic, cruel and sick jokes about you.  I'm sorry the process of the law have allowed them to vilify you. I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry you will never be able to tell your side of what happened.  You will never be able to speak of what it felt like to be hunted and having to defend yourself.  You will never be able to do that and I am SO so very sorry.  I'm sorry that "beyond reasonable doubt" only applies to George Zimmerman life, yet he didn't EVER give you THAT simple courtesy the night he took your life. How ironic.  I can only pray that your family will heal from this tragedy whatever the outcome may be.  Your life mattered to SO many people.

I believe you.

Rest In Peace.....

How many more??

I don't really know how to start this one off today.  I mean, I know the psuedo-theme of what this blog appear to be:

 me getting on my high horse to rant about something....I know I may look like just another angry, foul-mouthed, deeply opinionated Black chick with nothing better to do with herself but complain....and for the sake of argument and because I need you to really LISTEN to what I'm saying on this particular post, *shrug*......ok.  I can accept that.

But in my defense, I really do try to bring a message or simply an alternative way of thinking about a certain thing.  You know, some food for thought....even something to spark a debate.  I love a good debate.  Did you know that even if we don't agree, it's ok.  That's what makes the world go 'round.  It's shaped like a circle for a reason. I'm just saying.....

So I guess, in theory, this post would be pretty much the same because well,.....I'm MAD. I may even curse.  I have very STRONG opinions about this "gun law" topic that's been so heavy in the news....And if that makes me a one trick pony....then lets start the show!

Hadiya Pendleton, gunned down in Chicago.

How many more?  How many more children will we lose to gun violence?  How many more mothers/fathers will weep over their child's remains, plan funerals and live the rest of their days  wondering....why, my baby?  How many more?  How many more friends will have to pull out pictures and say, "I remember when we...." or "When we grew up, we were going to..."?  How many more memorials erect on our street corners?  How many more candles will be burned? How many more headlines must we read and shake our heads in disbelief? How many more news segments must we watch in horror? How many more?  I'm asking... Who's shoulder must it be, that's looked over with fear before we say, "enough is enough"?

Not long ago, I was talking with my kids and just out of curiosity and concerned, I asked them, "Are you afraid at all with all of the random things that happen out there? Are you....desensitized to death"?  Their answers were  heartbreaking, to say the least.  Do you know how it feels to look in you're children's eyes and listen when they say:

"It's real out here. Any day or any time we go to school or a function or whatever, you can get clapped. You gotta know who to roll with.... I know who to roll with.  You always gotta keep somebody in the circle that's holding...you don't know what's gonna pop off these days. But hey...if I die, I die. But I'm not gonna live my life in fear.  If that was the case, I'd be scared to go outside."

Do you know how it feels to hear that....and know that even though they continued on, teasing me about being the worried, protective, doting mother that I am, whilst imitating my "scared" voice and over exaggerating EVERY thing about me.....I had to "laugh" it off but my whole entire heart bled.  How is it that MY children are so nonchalant about death and dying by violence? More shockingly for me that THEY ACTUALLY KNOW and have friends that carry! A while back, I let my son go to "a function"...and if you don't know, that's what the kids call house parties today.  Well, during this party some kids came, started reppin' hoods and as expected gun fire rang out.  My son, retold what happened, said he was close enough to see see the strobe lights from guns being discharged.  He told me that he and a friend ran to a nearby friend's house and waited about an hour before he called to be picked up....just so my mother, wouldn't drive into a live show down.  Proud, that he was fast to leave and get to safety and proud that he considered my mother's safety so he waited til it all settled down but ANY one of those bullets could have been a police call to ME telling me to come identify a body. The body of MY child.....and for me, these are the shoulders that are being looked over that make ME say, "enough is enough"!  My children do NOT live in Beirut!

***

People are pushing back so hard against gun laws, saying it's in our Constitution to "bear arms"....yeah...well, it is....but the Constitution was also written in 1787, when guns were...."necessary".  Necessary for the enslavement of people and necessary for the protection and/or acquisition of land and maybe, even necessary for shootin' a little food. There aren't any horse riding, bandanna wearing, gun slinging bandits, charging in our towns on dusty roads.  There will be no showdowns at high noon. Guns back then were necessary for intimidation.  In 2013,  we have other efficient, non-violent means of doing these things, so I don't think we have those issues anymore....or do we?  

Yeah. Chew on that for a minute....Eat it. Digest it and tell me what comes out on the other end....

I'll wait.

Bullshit?  Right?  Yeah, I thought so.

Look.  I'm not trying to make this a racial issue at all. It's SOOOOOOO far from "race" it's ridiculous. Although with each soul lost or some tragic event of gun violence that surround minority youths, some how it's not a big deal. Yes, I've seen comments time and time again that take it there (some sad soul trolling articles) but people, really....this is a GOVERNMENT issue.

Trayvon Martin

I know why they won't change anything initially written in the Constitution.  Because once you change one thing in the Constitution, then ALL things that have been written in the Constitution can be changed.  And that my friends,  is something we don't want for ourselves. NONE of US.  Sorry to say it....but it is....what it is.

HOWEVER, FEDERAL LAWS CAN BE MADE to walk sooooo fine the line of what is constitutional and what is not... They CANpass laws that will make it nearly impossible for people to get guns. Then the next step is how do we get these guns off the streets and out of the hands of our children....or the bad guys?  I dont' think that's a beast anybody is ready to tame.  Lazy, I guess.

(I know there's black market money that feed into the government....I know this "no gun thing" would put a dent in somebody's pocket.)

The one thing I hate to hear is "Guns don't kill people. People kill people".
NO!! People with GUNS kill people!
I remember giving my mother this motivational speech once because she desperately wants my niece to lose weight.  "Well, she can't eat what you don't buy" and I feel the same about this NRA motto!  Seriously, can you shoot somebody if you don't have a gun? Makes sense to me.... duh!  Cause and Effect..... something we all learned in school and something so many haven't even lived long enough to take the test on.

When I was coming up, WE knew who had guns....we also knew these were the "bad guys". They had guns because everybody wanted to be "GANGSTA"....then it got to be....well, if he got a gun - I got a gun.......everybody wanna be GANGSTA.....then the guns started going off.   I can think back to my old neighborhood and seriously, EVERYBODY is dead.....by gun violence. I just saw a picture a childhood friend posted on Facebook of the boys on the block....and how sad it was to see them all....and one by one, I pointed out.....he's dead.....he's dead....he's dead..... *Sigh*

It ain't right.....

I believe that if you aren't protecting the US President or a fighting military soldier, you don't NEED a gun.

BUT I'M A SPORTS HUNTER AND I NEED MY RIFLE!! 
Rent 'em and return 'em.

BUT I LIKE TO GO TO THE SHOOTING RANGE!!!
Rent 'em and return 'em.

BUT I WANT TO PROTECT MY HOUSE AND MY FAMILY!!
Intruder - Beat 'em and return 'em!

Hell, in my perfect world, the police wouldn't even have guns!  With all of the trigger happy, scared, over-reacting police out there....THEY need their guns taken too!  But like I said.  They're scared....scared because the people they take an oath to protect have guns and the bad guys they need to catch have even BIGGER guns!   Why would my neighbor need an AK-47????

Oscar Grant

*******

I know this may seem like an unrealistic fantasy and stupid to some of you but to me it's not. 

YOU just don't want to see the possibility of a world that doesn't include gun violence.  It's scary, huh?  We've been doing it so long....living in violence...taking stuff that don't belong to us...how would we manage?

At least we could live another day to try it again if today didn't work out.

*every bit of sarcasm was intended*

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I hear that another kid has been murdered, the fear in my heart for my own children is nearly overwhelming.  I know that these taken away from the world, could have just as easily been mine. They could have been yours.  Do you get that??  Do you understand that each one of these lives create a path towards your very own door?? How many more will be lost before it reaches you?

They all have names:

Baby Hiram Lawrence

Hadiya Pendleton, Trayvon Martin, Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Rachel Davino, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Ana M. Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Dawn Hochsprung, Madeleine F. Hsu, Catherine V. Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli ,Grace McDonnell,  Anne Marie Murphy,  Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto,  Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi,  Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman,   Lauren Rousseau,  Mary Sherlach, Victoria Soto,  Benjamin Wheeler, Allison N. Wyatt, Jonathan Blunk, Alexander J. Boik, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander C. Teves, Rebecca Wingo  and SO many more...... THEY ALL HAVE NAMES!

Newtown, CT

Columbine, CO

Junior Seau

Jovan Belcher & Kasandra Perkins