Trayvon, I'm sorry....

As things begin to wrap up with the State vs. George Zimmerman, my heart is aching.  I've taken a strong interest in the outcome of this case because I wanted to see just how fancy they'd be trying to wiggle and defend what he's done and all of the lies he's told. I was interested in seeing just how far we've progressed as a society.  Most importantly, my interest is extremely high in the outcome because  I have a son.

My son is Black.

My son is tall.  

My son is slender. 

My son is athletic.

My son is in good health.

My son has smoked weed. 

My son knows how to defend himself.

My son walks to the store sometimes when it's dark out.

My son wears hoodies and drinks Arizona Teas.

My son is NOT a suspicious person and neither was Trayvon.  

The cold and hard realization of racism, profiling, stereotyping and entitlement can not be ignored in this case.  We can all dance or slide over these underlying currants but the facts of the matter, they exist.  Nobody wants this to be a "racial" issue but it is.  Why was he ever a "suspicious person"? What made him so suspicious??? 

Because George Zimmerman didn't know him? He didn't know George Zimmerman but he didn't pursue him either.Was he suspicious because he wore a hoodie? 
I didn't know it was a particularly odd thing to cover your head when its raining.  So what made him suspicious? So suspicious and menacing that George Zimmerman became so hellbent on  "catching him" and that all of his supposed "fear" was thrown aside?  What made Trayvon suspicious?  Because he was Black.

If you're not a person of African descent, it's very hard for you to understand exactly what IT IS to be Black in America.  Being a woman of African descent, even I can't fully understand what it is to be a BLACK male in America, but I understand and can relate as I've experienced profiling personally in my life. That's not to say that non-blacks can't empathize with the experience but they will never fully understand what life is like to be measured by stereotypes for no reason other than skin color. They will never understand that WE are guilty until proven innocent, when the law clearly gives us the right to be innocent unless proven otherwise. Even in death and unable to tell his side, Trayvon is on trial and apparently, they've proven him guilty of being the one that caused his own death.

We've all speculated as to what would have happened had Trayvon been white and George had been black.  What if they were both white?  What if they were both black? What if Trayvon had the gun and killed George?  I confidently believe that if the races were switched, George would have been arrested on the night of the shooting and this case would be over and George would be on his way to prison.  If it had of been Trayvon who shot George out of self defense, he would have been on his way to prison.  It just is...what it is.  Hate me if you want, but it IS the truth from where I stand.  How sad it is a world we live in that a kid can't walk to the store without being profiled and suspected as being up to no good.  How sad it is a world we live in that a kid can't fight with all his might and will, to defend himself when he was being followed by a grown man, with a gun, that he didn't know....who was lurking....and following him.  How sad that he wasn't given the right and continues to be denied the same rights that George Zimmerman was given. Why is it that Trayvon's self defense isn't being considered in the arguments at all??  Oh, I'm sorry! My mistake it is being considered only not in the light and truth.  That ass kicking George received was him defending himself.... and they've turned it around to be Black aggression and fear for George.

The sad, sad part about this all..... *pause*........NONE of this had to happen.  It all happened because George Zimmerman MADE it happen.  

Trayvon, I'm sorry this world we live in have quantified and reduced the value of your life and the lives of so many young men, like you....like my son.  I'm sorry this world will allow people to develop games and set up Facebook pages to make sadistic, cruel and sick jokes about you.  I'm sorry the process of the law have allowed them to vilify you. I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry you will never be able to tell your side of what happened.  You will never be able to speak of what it felt like to be hunted and having to defend yourself.  You will never be able to do that and I am SO so very sorry.  I'm sorry that "beyond reasonable doubt" only applies to George Zimmerman life, yet he didn't EVER give you THAT simple courtesy the night he took your life. How ironic.  I can only pray that your family will heal from this tragedy whatever the outcome may be.  Your life mattered to SO many people.

I believe you.

Rest In Peace.....

Eye for an I.....

By now I'm sure many of you have heard about the manhunt for Christopher Jordan Dorner.  If not, here's a link to the story:

Rogue Cop - The Manhunt

*sigh*

I didn't really pay attention to the headlines at first.  I thought it was another "civilian" gone mad....but it got interesting enough for me to pay attention when I realized it was a cop who was on this actual killing rampage.  Why did that make it worthwhile to begin to follow?  Well, cops are suppose to be the good guys and a cop turning on cops....*shrug*....is interesting.  Now, I'm like, "WHAT made him snap"? So, I'm paying a little bit more attention to it.

I have read some of his manifesto.  It's pretty long....but here's the link if you want to read it.  Honestly, it's far too much for me to read and ain't nobody got time for that...but I think I got the jest of it.  

So.....what do I think?

Thanks Tupac.  I couldn't have said it better myself.

If you didn't watch the video, basically what he said was and I'm SO putting this into my own words:

"I asked nicely more than once, more than twice....I'm tired of asking...so now you're just gonna give me what I want....by any means necessary".

Horrible summation so you should probably hear him say it....plus.....the visual is much better.

Hate me if you will, but it's the truth.

I DO NOT - DO NOT - DO NOT condone what he's doing but....*thinking*  I guess I can see how and why he snapped.  Is it really a secret of how corrupt LAPD is?  If it is, where the hell have you been?

I've always heard about this "code" - basically that cops don't rat out other cops.  No matter what it is:  Drug abuse, drug trafficking, sexual exploitation, domestic violence....even murder.  So if anybody goes against the grain of that, they're cast out of the circle and blackballed, for life.  When good guys become the real bad guys, the real good guys become the bad guys for not being the good guys to protect the bad guys that want to look like good guys.  A little confusing but I'm sure you got it.....or you just didn't want to get it.  It's irony at it's finest.

So, Dorner's position of fighting for his name and honor - for doing what was "right" through all these years, fighting for the freedoms and protection of our country, only to be blackballed and unable to work because his name, his reputation, his legacy has been tarnished......*thinking*.....yeah, I could the desperation and frustration, the feeling of being slapped in the face. If he had children, they will suffer from this too....so yeah, this is a dark hole with no light.   I don't think he's going about it the right way....but who's going to listen to him.  Who's gonna give him the opportunity to live/leave this life with dignity?

Nobody.

Especially not now.  

He has nothing to lose.

Yeah, he could have gone away without this HORRIFIC situation at hand.  NOBODY should be dead right now....nobody!!  So please don't misconstrue my words to support his actions in any way.....EVER.  I think killing people to make a point is the DUMBEST thing that ANYBODY could ever do.  Beside, there's no point in me saying, he deserves to be punished so severely even it if means the death penalty because as far as he's concerned, he died a long time ago and I'm not foolish enough to think he's coming out of this alive...taken by his hand or theirs.

Let this be yet another reason why stiffer gun laws are necessary and let this be a reminder to the police officers who take an OATH to uphold the law, protect the people of each and every borough, ghetto, city, town, state, crack and/or crevice, that YOU are not above the law,  you're under it just like the rest of us....not everybody will or want to abuse their authority!

The real sad part about this story.....not even that innocent people have died......but that innocent people will die.  Innocent people will still be hurt, killed, mistreated by these kinds of cops and 9-11 calls will continued to be ignored or taken when "they're ready to respond".  The sad part is that bad cops will still unlawfully detain and exercise excessive force on detainees.  The sad part is that ALL of these allegations will be swept back under the rug....again.  This unfortunate situation will be just another blip on the radar of "unfortunate situations".

“Tempt not a desperate man.”

William Shakespeare

How many more??

I don't really know how to start this one off today.  I mean, I know the psuedo-theme of what this blog appear to be:

 me getting on my high horse to rant about something....I know I may look like just another angry, foul-mouthed, deeply opinionated Black chick with nothing better to do with herself but complain....and for the sake of argument and because I need you to really LISTEN to what I'm saying on this particular post, *shrug*......ok.  I can accept that.

But in my defense, I really do try to bring a message or simply an alternative way of thinking about a certain thing.  You know, some food for thought....even something to spark a debate.  I love a good debate.  Did you know that even if we don't agree, it's ok.  That's what makes the world go 'round.  It's shaped like a circle for a reason. I'm just saying.....

So I guess, in theory, this post would be pretty much the same because well,.....I'm MAD. I may even curse.  I have very STRONG opinions about this "gun law" topic that's been so heavy in the news....And if that makes me a one trick pony....then lets start the show!

Hadiya Pendleton, gunned down in Chicago.

How many more?  How many more children will we lose to gun violence?  How many more mothers/fathers will weep over their child's remains, plan funerals and live the rest of their days  wondering....why, my baby?  How many more?  How many more friends will have to pull out pictures and say, "I remember when we...." or "When we grew up, we were going to..."?  How many more memorials erect on our street corners?  How many more candles will be burned? How many more headlines must we read and shake our heads in disbelief? How many more news segments must we watch in horror? How many more?  I'm asking... Who's shoulder must it be, that's looked over with fear before we say, "enough is enough"?

Not long ago, I was talking with my kids and just out of curiosity and concerned, I asked them, "Are you afraid at all with all of the random things that happen out there? Are you....desensitized to death"?  Their answers were  heartbreaking, to say the least.  Do you know how it feels to look in you're children's eyes and listen when they say:

"It's real out here. Any day or any time we go to school or a function or whatever, you can get clapped. You gotta know who to roll with.... I know who to roll with.  You always gotta keep somebody in the circle that's holding...you don't know what's gonna pop off these days. But hey...if I die, I die. But I'm not gonna live my life in fear.  If that was the case, I'd be scared to go outside."

Do you know how it feels to hear that....and know that even though they continued on, teasing me about being the worried, protective, doting mother that I am, whilst imitating my "scared" voice and over exaggerating EVERY thing about me.....I had to "laugh" it off but my whole entire heart bled.  How is it that MY children are so nonchalant about death and dying by violence? More shockingly for me that THEY ACTUALLY KNOW and have friends that carry! A while back, I let my son go to "a function"...and if you don't know, that's what the kids call house parties today.  Well, during this party some kids came, started reppin' hoods and as expected gun fire rang out.  My son, retold what happened, said he was close enough to see see the strobe lights from guns being discharged.  He told me that he and a friend ran to a nearby friend's house and waited about an hour before he called to be picked up....just so my mother, wouldn't drive into a live show down.  Proud, that he was fast to leave and get to safety and proud that he considered my mother's safety so he waited til it all settled down but ANY one of those bullets could have been a police call to ME telling me to come identify a body. The body of MY child.....and for me, these are the shoulders that are being looked over that make ME say, "enough is enough"!  My children do NOT live in Beirut!

***

People are pushing back so hard against gun laws, saying it's in our Constitution to "bear arms"....yeah...well, it is....but the Constitution was also written in 1787, when guns were...."necessary".  Necessary for the enslavement of people and necessary for the protection and/or acquisition of land and maybe, even necessary for shootin' a little food. There aren't any horse riding, bandanna wearing, gun slinging bandits, charging in our towns on dusty roads.  There will be no showdowns at high noon. Guns back then were necessary for intimidation.  In 2013,  we have other efficient, non-violent means of doing these things, so I don't think we have those issues anymore....or do we?  

Yeah. Chew on that for a minute....Eat it. Digest it and tell me what comes out on the other end....

I'll wait.

Bullshit?  Right?  Yeah, I thought so.

Look.  I'm not trying to make this a racial issue at all. It's SOOOOOOO far from "race" it's ridiculous. Although with each soul lost or some tragic event of gun violence that surround minority youths, some how it's not a big deal. Yes, I've seen comments time and time again that take it there (some sad soul trolling articles) but people, really....this is a GOVERNMENT issue.

Trayvon Martin

I know why they won't change anything initially written in the Constitution.  Because once you change one thing in the Constitution, then ALL things that have been written in the Constitution can be changed.  And that my friends,  is something we don't want for ourselves. NONE of US.  Sorry to say it....but it is....what it is.

HOWEVER, FEDERAL LAWS CAN BE MADE to walk sooooo fine the line of what is constitutional and what is not... They CANpass laws that will make it nearly impossible for people to get guns. Then the next step is how do we get these guns off the streets and out of the hands of our children....or the bad guys?  I dont' think that's a beast anybody is ready to tame.  Lazy, I guess.

(I know there's black market money that feed into the government....I know this "no gun thing" would put a dent in somebody's pocket.)

The one thing I hate to hear is "Guns don't kill people. People kill people".
NO!! People with GUNS kill people!
I remember giving my mother this motivational speech once because she desperately wants my niece to lose weight.  "Well, she can't eat what you don't buy" and I feel the same about this NRA motto!  Seriously, can you shoot somebody if you don't have a gun? Makes sense to me.... duh!  Cause and Effect..... something we all learned in school and something so many haven't even lived long enough to take the test on.

When I was coming up, WE knew who had guns....we also knew these were the "bad guys". They had guns because everybody wanted to be "GANGSTA"....then it got to be....well, if he got a gun - I got a gun.......everybody wanna be GANGSTA.....then the guns started going off.   I can think back to my old neighborhood and seriously, EVERYBODY is dead.....by gun violence. I just saw a picture a childhood friend posted on Facebook of the boys on the block....and how sad it was to see them all....and one by one, I pointed out.....he's dead.....he's dead....he's dead..... *Sigh*

It ain't right.....

I believe that if you aren't protecting the US President or a fighting military soldier, you don't NEED a gun.

BUT I'M A SPORTS HUNTER AND I NEED MY RIFLE!! 
Rent 'em and return 'em.

BUT I LIKE TO GO TO THE SHOOTING RANGE!!!
Rent 'em and return 'em.

BUT I WANT TO PROTECT MY HOUSE AND MY FAMILY!!
Intruder - Beat 'em and return 'em!

Hell, in my perfect world, the police wouldn't even have guns!  With all of the trigger happy, scared, over-reacting police out there....THEY need their guns taken too!  But like I said.  They're scared....scared because the people they take an oath to protect have guns and the bad guys they need to catch have even BIGGER guns!   Why would my neighbor need an AK-47????

Oscar Grant

*******

I know this may seem like an unrealistic fantasy and stupid to some of you but to me it's not. 

YOU just don't want to see the possibility of a world that doesn't include gun violence.  It's scary, huh?  We've been doing it so long....living in violence...taking stuff that don't belong to us...how would we manage?

At least we could live another day to try it again if today didn't work out.

*every bit of sarcasm was intended*

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I hear that another kid has been murdered, the fear in my heart for my own children is nearly overwhelming.  I know that these taken away from the world, could have just as easily been mine. They could have been yours.  Do you get that??  Do you understand that each one of these lives create a path towards your very own door?? How many more will be lost before it reaches you?

They all have names:

Baby Hiram Lawrence

Hadiya Pendleton, Trayvon Martin, Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Rachel Davino, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Ana M. Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Dawn Hochsprung, Madeleine F. Hsu, Catherine V. Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli ,Grace McDonnell,  Anne Marie Murphy,  Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto,  Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi,  Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman,   Lauren Rousseau,  Mary Sherlach, Victoria Soto,  Benjamin Wheeler, Allison N. Wyatt, Jonathan Blunk, Alexander J. Boik, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander C. Teves, Rebecca Wingo  and SO many more...... THEY ALL HAVE NAMES!

Newtown, CT

Columbine, CO

Junior Seau

Jovan Belcher & Kasandra Perkins

You betta back it up!!! Back it up!!!

Happy Monday!!!

Soooo, apparently....the Cleveland Bus Driver have a brother in Atlanta.

Yall, hoes gon' learn! Quit flexin' on men unless you want to smell what the Rock is cookin'!

If you're interested in watching the fuckery, by all means,

*courtesy of World Star HipHop* 

Go, 'head....I'll wait.

Ok.... let me start by saying, I don't - DO NOT - condone men being physically, mentally or emotionally abusive to women.....BUT....I don't condone that shit from women to men either.  So with that being said.....I don't feel sorry for her AT ALL....

What was your lasting (almost nagging) message from this video??  For me, I can't get out of my head "Back it up!  Back it up!  Getcha kids! Get your children!  Back it up!"

How many fuckin' times did he have to tell her?  She chose not to listen.  She wanted to act an ass....she and her homegirl.  Which, by the way might I add...after the security guard served that electric current shot of patron straight to that ass....she got awfully quiet!

hahahahahaha....

Yeah, I thought so......back it up!

So here's what I find wrong in this video.  No, not the security guard. He was the last thing that was wrong.  Now, granted - I don't know exactly what happened prior to the recording. I'm under the impression he must have said something to the kids.  So my theory is that she and ol' girl must have been on a baby daddy hunt and she found him, kickin' it with his homeboys....of course, this is unacceptable to the skank at heart.....so she and that classroom of kids more than likely started acting foolish, flexin' up on him and the kids (who obviously are eager participants of ratchetry) were being a nuisance, in front of the business that he is paid to "secure".

She then got up in her emotions.....because 1.) Baby Daddy obviously ain't paying her no mind, feelings hurt by that, 2.) just got checked by security so her feelings got hurt by that - how dare he embarrass her in front of her baby daddy, and 3.) save face! She's gotta show everybody that's witnessed this spectacle how "she ain't the one to be fucked with".

And that my friends is the recipe for a nigga moment: When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong.

I bet you're wondering how "baby daddy" factored into this.  Well, look at the footage.  The whole time this chick is out here acting a damn fool.  Where is he??  He not once came to defuse the situation...or even come to "defend her honor".  Why?  Because he wanted her to go away and he thought with the "authority" of the security guard....she would.  Therefore, I gathered, not only because he claimed them like tax exemptions in the end but also how quickly this sucka stepped up to bang his bird chest like King Kong. He was cool with the pushing and shoving and the security talking hard....but you don' struck lightenin' thru her ass....the hell if I will take these damn kids....you don' lost yo damn mind!

I'm laughed HELLA hard when she got tasered  but this really did make me feel bad for the babies.  These people are parents?  Are these the teachings we really want to pass to the kids? (rhetorical, I know)  "You gay!" "You gay".....he couldn't have been no more than 4.  What does he even know about "gay" and why is that an insult? So, later in life if his willy stands up for Billy and not Jilly....now he's filled with shame...and mixing shame with anger (cuz, she was doing a great lesson on how to be angry).... he's gonna just be a menace to society like his mama. *smh*....Kids learn by example....this is just not cliche....it's REAL!   *smh*  Lord, help us all.

So my message to you ladies (and I know you've heard this before) but if you want to be respected - you've got to respect yourself. IF you decide to hit a man, be prepared to be hit back BY a man. And for the love of all things holy, when you are in front of your children REMEMBER these kids are like sponges...they will absorb everything around them....including this kind of bullshit.....*smh*.....if you don't want anything better for yourself....at least want better for the babies.

So let this be a lesson to ALL you ratchet ass keeping it real ass chicks.....by uppercut or electricity

YOU GON' LEARN TODAY!!

Shameful is....what shameful does....

Most of us, are guilty of making and laughing at the jokes we heard about Whitney.  I'll admit....I laughed. Most of us tuned in week after week for our dose of humor from their reality show, "Being Bobby Brown".  You just never knew what antics and stunts the Brown family would pull.  You just never knew but you knew they would!  And each week, they never let us down.  Yelling and screaming at each other.  Making spectacles in public...odd behaviors and whatever else they could come up with, they didn't hold back.  Some of you may think I'm being insensitive right now, that I'm speaking so freely about "the train wreck" we tuned in to witness week after week.  Maybe I watched because Bobby reminded me so much of my own brother and his erratic, comical behavior....I don't know *shrug*....but I watched.   But here is where I get up on my soapbox....

SOMEBODY'S MOTHER has died!!
SOMEBODY'S CHILD has died!!
SOMEBODY'S SISTER has died!!
SOMEBODY'S AUNT has died!!
SOMBODY'S COUSIN has died!!
SOMEBODY'S BEST FRIEND has died!!

And people are still tuning in for the train wreck!  So....*MIDDLE FINGER in ABUNDANCE* for you all!!

It was almost immediate that EVERYBODY assumed it was drug related. *smh*  DESPITE her troubles, did she not deserve the respect and consideration that maybe it had NOTHING to do with drugs? No??  Are we so insenstive and so ALL KNOWING, that we....WE....this selfish, celebrity news hungry, reality show watching, insecure, low self esteemed ass society can't even give her the benefit of doubt....no?  It goes SO far passed what killed her....because at the end of the day.....she's gone.

Excuse me...Yeah I said it!  SELFISH, INSECURE, LOW SELF ESTEEM SOCIETY!!  We care SO much about the drama, who's wearing what...who sleeping with whom....who's strung out....who's dishing the best gossip.  We build people up to tear them down. Maybe if we spent more time caring about just people in general, caring about ourselves and our OWN front lawns...maybe these celebrities could live somewhat of normal lives and not lean so much on drugs to charge them up so they can give US what we need....and drugs to take them down so they can get what they need.....sleep, peace and quiet or an escape.

My son called me to tell me when the news broke.  I thought, again..."Here we go with the jokes".  I told him "It's not funny".  And I scolded him for telling "this horrible joke".  He got a little defensive because he couldn't connect to why it wasn't funny....and as he said "it ain't like you knew her".  Yeah, I expect this from a kid, who didn't grow up listening to her music.  Who didn't get a chance to "know" Whitney Houston before things got bad.  So all he knew was the "sick" Whitney...and the jokes that surrounded her.  Yeah, I expect that from a kid but this was a common sentiment that I saw when I logged on to Facebook and read comments posted by people under the multitude of articles and her videos on youtube.  It seems as though, there is this belief that a person (or people) can't be affected by the death of a celebrity.

Well, why not? ?

Because she didn't know you all, individually by name?  Because she didn't know your favorite colors?  Well, she didn't become a celebrity alone!  You made her!  You loved her voice....you listened to her music over the years....you cared enough to tune in to watch her when she performed on television. You welcomed her with open arms when Clive Davis presented her to you!  You EVEN cared enough about her that you were hungry for the latest gossip concerning her addictions. You craved the photos of her disheveled and wildin' out.  You cared enough to talk about her, make jokes about her, to follow her EVERY move. You loved her so much, you're still blaming Bobby for her downfall! YOU employ the paparizzi! Yet, you want to tell people to get over it., "I'm not surprised" replies and you don't see why others are sharing her videos...or linking articles about the developing story of all the "what happened" theories.  Is that what we do, when they no longer "fit" the mold, we disassociate ourselves and throw them to the wolves?  Shame on you.

As a fan, it broke my heart to watch her decline and even more to hear of her death.  And you're right, like I said, I did laugh at jokes.  Hell, my father was a drug addict.  I laughed and joked at his ass too!! But how  I THANK GOD - even to this day, for the sobriety that he mastered.  When he "came back to life", NONE of the things that he did during his drugged up days mattered to me.  All that mattered is that I had my daddy back!  So when he passed away, nothing of his past haunted his memory.  He was remembered for the person that he was.  WHY is that so hard for people to do for Whitney? I wanted soberity for Whitney. I want the same for everybody with addictions.   Whenever there was good press of her "cleaning up", yes...I shared those moments too!  It would make me happy to see her trying.  When she finally became pregnant with Bobbi Kristina...who wasn't happy for her?  I know I was.  "I'm Every Woman" ???  Everybody loved the glowing face, the swollen belly....the healthy Whitney.  So now I ask, did you really love her?

This isn't just about WHITNEY HOUSTON.  This is about Michael Jackson, Etta James, Amy Winehouse, Marvin Gaye, Heavy D and all the other celebrities that have sacrificed their privacy and just basic human needs for our entertainment. No, I may NOT  know this family personally but they're human and they shared their life with me.  I pray for this family....this family of HUMAN BEINGS with REAL feelings, REAL faults, REAL triumphs, REAL happiness and REAL sadness.  I pray for the child that lost her mother and the mother that lost her child.

Rest in Peace, Whitney.....

And you can definitely quote me....if you like!