Eye for an I.....

By now I'm sure many of you have heard about the manhunt for Christopher Jordan Dorner.  If not, here's a link to the story:

Rogue Cop - The Manhunt

*sigh*

I didn't really pay attention to the headlines at first.  I thought it was another "civilian" gone mad....but it got interesting enough for me to pay attention when I realized it was a cop who was on this actual killing rampage.  Why did that make it worthwhile to begin to follow?  Well, cops are suppose to be the good guys and a cop turning on cops....*shrug*....is interesting.  Now, I'm like, "WHAT made him snap"? So, I'm paying a little bit more attention to it.

I have read some of his manifesto.  It's pretty long....but here's the link if you want to read it.  Honestly, it's far too much for me to read and ain't nobody got time for that...but I think I got the jest of it.  

So.....what do I think?

Thanks Tupac.  I couldn't have said it better myself.

If you didn't watch the video, basically what he said was and I'm SO putting this into my own words:

"I asked nicely more than once, more than twice....I'm tired of asking...so now you're just gonna give me what I want....by any means necessary".

Horrible summation so you should probably hear him say it....plus.....the visual is much better.

Hate me if you will, but it's the truth.

I DO NOT - DO NOT - DO NOT condone what he's doing but....*thinking*  I guess I can see how and why he snapped.  Is it really a secret of how corrupt LAPD is?  If it is, where the hell have you been?

I've always heard about this "code" - basically that cops don't rat out other cops.  No matter what it is:  Drug abuse, drug trafficking, sexual exploitation, domestic violence....even murder.  So if anybody goes against the grain of that, they're cast out of the circle and blackballed, for life.  When good guys become the real bad guys, the real good guys become the bad guys for not being the good guys to protect the bad guys that want to look like good guys.  A little confusing but I'm sure you got it.....or you just didn't want to get it.  It's irony at it's finest.

So, Dorner's position of fighting for his name and honor - for doing what was "right" through all these years, fighting for the freedoms and protection of our country, only to be blackballed and unable to work because his name, his reputation, his legacy has been tarnished......*thinking*.....yeah, I could the desperation and frustration, the feeling of being slapped in the face. If he had children, they will suffer from this too....so yeah, this is a dark hole with no light.   I don't think he's going about it the right way....but who's going to listen to him.  Who's gonna give him the opportunity to live/leave this life with dignity?

Nobody.

Especially not now.  

He has nothing to lose.

Yeah, he could have gone away without this HORRIFIC situation at hand.  NOBODY should be dead right now....nobody!!  So please don't misconstrue my words to support his actions in any way.....EVER.  I think killing people to make a point is the DUMBEST thing that ANYBODY could ever do.  Beside, there's no point in me saying, he deserves to be punished so severely even it if means the death penalty because as far as he's concerned, he died a long time ago and I'm not foolish enough to think he's coming out of this alive...taken by his hand or theirs.

Let this be yet another reason why stiffer gun laws are necessary and let this be a reminder to the police officers who take an OATH to uphold the law, protect the people of each and every borough, ghetto, city, town, state, crack and/or crevice, that YOU are not above the law,  you're under it just like the rest of us....not everybody will or want to abuse their authority!

The real sad part about this story.....not even that innocent people have died......but that innocent people will die.  Innocent people will still be hurt, killed, mistreated by these kinds of cops and 9-11 calls will continued to be ignored or taken when "they're ready to respond".  The sad part is that bad cops will still unlawfully detain and exercise excessive force on detainees.  The sad part is that ALL of these allegations will be swept back under the rug....again.  This unfortunate situation will be just another blip on the radar of "unfortunate situations".

“Tempt not a desperate man.”

William Shakespeare

My eyes are bleeding!!! INCEPTION!

Happy Wednesday!!

So, I wanted to share with you all a bit of a dream I had.... last night.....or this morning.... I don't know....while I was sleep.

ANYWHO......

What I can remember, I was washing makeup off of my face and I believe there was a guy with me...and I think it was somebody that I like....*thinking*....I'm fuzzy on that but while I'm trying to recall what happened, I'm getting the feeling that there was somebody there with me that I didn't want to be embarrassed and I'm feeling "love" or "affection".....that fuzzy feeling when you're around somebody you like.....yeah, that's the feeling that I'm having right now.

So, why this person is around me while I'm cleaning my face, I have no idea.  Because 1.) my hygiene maintenance is sacred private time... and 2.)  If I'm with a person that I'm crushing on....ain't NO way I'm taking off my makeup! hahahahaha  so you know this was a dream. hahahahaha!   So anyway, I'm wiping my eyes and I guess my fingernail cut the inside of my eyelid.  Blood started to pour out from my eye...and I grabbed a towel and went to find somebody to help.  

I found my dad and although I don't remember seeing her....I know my mom was there....because I could feel her.  So he looked into my eye and he said, "let's go to the hospital".  My mom (yeah, I see her now)....says, "Let me look" and when I lifted my eyelid, blood spilled out, running down my face, dripping to the carpet.  

Well, that's about as much as I remember but when I got to work today, I decided to look up the symbolic meaning of "bleeding eyes".  I'm very much into dream interpretation so I found it to be very interesting that it said this: 

Bleeding Eyes (Via Dream Moods)
To dream that your eyes are bleeding symbolizes the sacrifices your have made and the difficulties you have endured. Alternatively, the dream signifies some very deep pain or internal conflict within your soul. Although you may not feel any physical pain, you are hurting inside. Perhaps you have been hiding the pain for so long that you forgot what pain feels like. There is some unrest or uneasiness within which needs to be addressed and resolved immediately.

And on Go To Horoscope - Dream Dictionary

When you dream about eyes, the dream may be telling you that you need to literally look within yourself for an important answer to a problem you may be having, or that the answer you seek may have been right before your eyes all along. Alternatively, dreaming about one eye usually means that you are being too one sided on a particular viewpoint, and maybe you should open yourself up to new perspectives. 

If you knew me and my journey..... you would know why I'm all like "WOW" right now.  You'd know why this all makes sense to me. My life has been of many sacrifices and within the last 10 years or so, I've lost people that I just didn't think would ever go away and when they did, I didn't know how I'd make it without them.  The lost of my father and my sister, left pain so deep there were moments that I just knew I'd snap.  The internal conflict is very familiar and personal.  There's some current family situations that do have my uneasy and I guess the message from the dream is to get them resolved....and NOW! I just don't know if I should say something... or just let it go....if I do say something...how do I say it.....it's just a lot.....*sigh*

I have always been pretty intuitive.....and I get messages a lot in my dreams. I noticed this "gift" when I was about 11, or 12.  My grandmother was killed in a train crash and that was the first time I EVER really dealt with death and dying.  So one night after she had been buried... I had a dream I went to visit her.  It felt soooo real.  Now mind you, this dream was over 25 years ago....and I remember it like I just had it last week!  The message she left with me, came to be......and when it did......I just cried....because she told me....in my dream.....it would happen.

I guess this is probably why I enjoyed the movie Inception so much. I know to some of you the concept of thinking was SO far out that it got confusing....and the only thing that I didn't "accept" was them being able to get into each others dreams.  But the general premise of how dreams work....I was so into it.

So, I think I better.....pay attention to this.... and act accordingly.

Have you ever had a dream.....that came true?

Shameful is....what shameful does....

Most of us, are guilty of making and laughing at the jokes we heard about Whitney.  I'll admit....I laughed. Most of us tuned in week after week for our dose of humor from their reality show, "Being Bobby Brown".  You just never knew what antics and stunts the Brown family would pull.  You just never knew but you knew they would!  And each week, they never let us down.  Yelling and screaming at each other.  Making spectacles in public...odd behaviors and whatever else they could come up with, they didn't hold back.  Some of you may think I'm being insensitive right now, that I'm speaking so freely about "the train wreck" we tuned in to witness week after week.  Maybe I watched because Bobby reminded me so much of my own brother and his erratic, comical behavior....I don't know *shrug*....but I watched.   But here is where I get up on my soapbox....

SOMEBODY'S MOTHER has died!!
SOMEBODY'S CHILD has died!!
SOMEBODY'S SISTER has died!!
SOMEBODY'S AUNT has died!!
SOMBODY'S COUSIN has died!!
SOMEBODY'S BEST FRIEND has died!!

And people are still tuning in for the train wreck!  So....*MIDDLE FINGER in ABUNDANCE* for you all!!

It was almost immediate that EVERYBODY assumed it was drug related. *smh*  DESPITE her troubles, did she not deserve the respect and consideration that maybe it had NOTHING to do with drugs? No??  Are we so insenstive and so ALL KNOWING, that we....WE....this selfish, celebrity news hungry, reality show watching, insecure, low self esteemed ass society can't even give her the benefit of doubt....no?  It goes SO far passed what killed her....because at the end of the day.....she's gone.

Excuse me...Yeah I said it!  SELFISH, INSECURE, LOW SELF ESTEEM SOCIETY!!  We care SO much about the drama, who's wearing what...who sleeping with whom....who's strung out....who's dishing the best gossip.  We build people up to tear them down. Maybe if we spent more time caring about just people in general, caring about ourselves and our OWN front lawns...maybe these celebrities could live somewhat of normal lives and not lean so much on drugs to charge them up so they can give US what we need....and drugs to take them down so they can get what they need.....sleep, peace and quiet or an escape.

My son called me to tell me when the news broke.  I thought, again..."Here we go with the jokes".  I told him "It's not funny".  And I scolded him for telling "this horrible joke".  He got a little defensive because he couldn't connect to why it wasn't funny....and as he said "it ain't like you knew her".  Yeah, I expect this from a kid, who didn't grow up listening to her music.  Who didn't get a chance to "know" Whitney Houston before things got bad.  So all he knew was the "sick" Whitney...and the jokes that surrounded her.  Yeah, I expect that from a kid but this was a common sentiment that I saw when I logged on to Facebook and read comments posted by people under the multitude of articles and her videos on youtube.  It seems as though, there is this belief that a person (or people) can't be affected by the death of a celebrity.

Well, why not? ?

Because she didn't know you all, individually by name?  Because she didn't know your favorite colors?  Well, she didn't become a celebrity alone!  You made her!  You loved her voice....you listened to her music over the years....you cared enough to tune in to watch her when she performed on television. You welcomed her with open arms when Clive Davis presented her to you!  You EVEN cared enough about her that you were hungry for the latest gossip concerning her addictions. You craved the photos of her disheveled and wildin' out.  You cared enough to talk about her, make jokes about her, to follow her EVERY move. You loved her so much, you're still blaming Bobby for her downfall! YOU employ the paparizzi! Yet, you want to tell people to get over it., "I'm not surprised" replies and you don't see why others are sharing her videos...or linking articles about the developing story of all the "what happened" theories.  Is that what we do, when they no longer "fit" the mold, we disassociate ourselves and throw them to the wolves?  Shame on you.

As a fan, it broke my heart to watch her decline and even more to hear of her death.  And you're right, like I said, I did laugh at jokes.  Hell, my father was a drug addict.  I laughed and joked at his ass too!! But how  I THANK GOD - even to this day, for the sobriety that he mastered.  When he "came back to life", NONE of the things that he did during his drugged up days mattered to me.  All that mattered is that I had my daddy back!  So when he passed away, nothing of his past haunted his memory.  He was remembered for the person that he was.  WHY is that so hard for people to do for Whitney? I wanted soberity for Whitney. I want the same for everybody with addictions.   Whenever there was good press of her "cleaning up", yes...I shared those moments too!  It would make me happy to see her trying.  When she finally became pregnant with Bobbi Kristina...who wasn't happy for her?  I know I was.  "I'm Every Woman" ???  Everybody loved the glowing face, the swollen belly....the healthy Whitney.  So now I ask, did you really love her?

This isn't just about WHITNEY HOUSTON.  This is about Michael Jackson, Etta James, Amy Winehouse, Marvin Gaye, Heavy D and all the other celebrities that have sacrificed their privacy and just basic human needs for our entertainment. No, I may NOT  know this family personally but they're human and they shared their life with me.  I pray for this family....this family of HUMAN BEINGS with REAL feelings, REAL faults, REAL triumphs, REAL happiness and REAL sadness.  I pray for the child that lost her mother and the mother that lost her child.

Rest in Peace, Whitney.....

And you can definitely quote me....if you like!