How many more??

I don't really know how to start this one off today.  I mean, I know the psuedo-theme of what this blog appear to be:

 me getting on my high horse to rant about something....I know I may look like just another angry, foul-mouthed, deeply opinionated Black chick with nothing better to do with herself but complain....and for the sake of argument and because I need you to really LISTEN to what I'm saying on this particular post, *shrug*......ok.  I can accept that.

But in my defense, I really do try to bring a message or simply an alternative way of thinking about a certain thing.  You know, some food for thought....even something to spark a debate.  I love a good debate.  Did you know that even if we don't agree, it's ok.  That's what makes the world go 'round.  It's shaped like a circle for a reason. I'm just saying.....

So I guess, in theory, this post would be pretty much the same because well,.....I'm MAD. I may even curse.  I have very STRONG opinions about this "gun law" topic that's been so heavy in the news....And if that makes me a one trick pony....then lets start the show!

Hadiya Pendleton, gunned down in Chicago.

How many more?  How many more children will we lose to gun violence?  How many more mothers/fathers will weep over their child's remains, plan funerals and live the rest of their days  wondering....why, my baby?  How many more?  How many more friends will have to pull out pictures and say, "I remember when we...." or "When we grew up, we were going to..."?  How many more memorials erect on our street corners?  How many more candles will be burned? How many more headlines must we read and shake our heads in disbelief? How many more news segments must we watch in horror? How many more?  I'm asking... Who's shoulder must it be, that's looked over with fear before we say, "enough is enough"?

Not long ago, I was talking with my kids and just out of curiosity and concerned, I asked them, "Are you afraid at all with all of the random things that happen out there? Are you....desensitized to death"?  Their answers were  heartbreaking, to say the least.  Do you know how it feels to look in you're children's eyes and listen when they say:

"It's real out here. Any day or any time we go to school or a function or whatever, you can get clapped. You gotta know who to roll with.... I know who to roll with.  You always gotta keep somebody in the circle that's holding...you don't know what's gonna pop off these days. But hey...if I die, I die. But I'm not gonna live my life in fear.  If that was the case, I'd be scared to go outside."

Do you know how it feels to hear that....and know that even though they continued on, teasing me about being the worried, protective, doting mother that I am, whilst imitating my "scared" voice and over exaggerating EVERY thing about me.....I had to "laugh" it off but my whole entire heart bled.  How is it that MY children are so nonchalant about death and dying by violence? More shockingly for me that THEY ACTUALLY KNOW and have friends that carry! A while back, I let my son go to "a function"...and if you don't know, that's what the kids call house parties today.  Well, during this party some kids came, started reppin' hoods and as expected gun fire rang out.  My son, retold what happened, said he was close enough to see see the strobe lights from guns being discharged.  He told me that he and a friend ran to a nearby friend's house and waited about an hour before he called to be picked up....just so my mother, wouldn't drive into a live show down.  Proud, that he was fast to leave and get to safety and proud that he considered my mother's safety so he waited til it all settled down but ANY one of those bullets could have been a police call to ME telling me to come identify a body. The body of MY child.....and for me, these are the shoulders that are being looked over that make ME say, "enough is enough"!  My children do NOT live in Beirut!

***

People are pushing back so hard against gun laws, saying it's in our Constitution to "bear arms"....yeah...well, it is....but the Constitution was also written in 1787, when guns were...."necessary".  Necessary for the enslavement of people and necessary for the protection and/or acquisition of land and maybe, even necessary for shootin' a little food. There aren't any horse riding, bandanna wearing, gun slinging bandits, charging in our towns on dusty roads.  There will be no showdowns at high noon. Guns back then were necessary for intimidation.  In 2013,  we have other efficient, non-violent means of doing these things, so I don't think we have those issues anymore....or do we?  

Yeah. Chew on that for a minute....Eat it. Digest it and tell me what comes out on the other end....

I'll wait.

Bullshit?  Right?  Yeah, I thought so.

Look.  I'm not trying to make this a racial issue at all. It's SOOOOOOO far from "race" it's ridiculous. Although with each soul lost or some tragic event of gun violence that surround minority youths, some how it's not a big deal. Yes, I've seen comments time and time again that take it there (some sad soul trolling articles) but people, really....this is a GOVERNMENT issue.

Trayvon Martin

I know why they won't change anything initially written in the Constitution.  Because once you change one thing in the Constitution, then ALL things that have been written in the Constitution can be changed.  And that my friends,  is something we don't want for ourselves. NONE of US.  Sorry to say it....but it is....what it is.

HOWEVER, FEDERAL LAWS CAN BE MADE to walk sooooo fine the line of what is constitutional and what is not... They CANpass laws that will make it nearly impossible for people to get guns. Then the next step is how do we get these guns off the streets and out of the hands of our children....or the bad guys?  I dont' think that's a beast anybody is ready to tame.  Lazy, I guess.

(I know there's black market money that feed into the government....I know this "no gun thing" would put a dent in somebody's pocket.)

The one thing I hate to hear is "Guns don't kill people. People kill people".
NO!! People with GUNS kill people!
I remember giving my mother this motivational speech once because she desperately wants my niece to lose weight.  "Well, she can't eat what you don't buy" and I feel the same about this NRA motto!  Seriously, can you shoot somebody if you don't have a gun? Makes sense to me.... duh!  Cause and Effect..... something we all learned in school and something so many haven't even lived long enough to take the test on.

When I was coming up, WE knew who had guns....we also knew these were the "bad guys". They had guns because everybody wanted to be "GANGSTA"....then it got to be....well, if he got a gun - I got a gun.......everybody wanna be GANGSTA.....then the guns started going off.   I can think back to my old neighborhood and seriously, EVERYBODY is dead.....by gun violence. I just saw a picture a childhood friend posted on Facebook of the boys on the block....and how sad it was to see them all....and one by one, I pointed out.....he's dead.....he's dead....he's dead..... *Sigh*

It ain't right.....

I believe that if you aren't protecting the US President or a fighting military soldier, you don't NEED a gun.

BUT I'M A SPORTS HUNTER AND I NEED MY RIFLE!! 
Rent 'em and return 'em.

BUT I LIKE TO GO TO THE SHOOTING RANGE!!!
Rent 'em and return 'em.

BUT I WANT TO PROTECT MY HOUSE AND MY FAMILY!!
Intruder - Beat 'em and return 'em!

Hell, in my perfect world, the police wouldn't even have guns!  With all of the trigger happy, scared, over-reacting police out there....THEY need their guns taken too!  But like I said.  They're scared....scared because the people they take an oath to protect have guns and the bad guys they need to catch have even BIGGER guns!   Why would my neighbor need an AK-47????

Oscar Grant

*******

I know this may seem like an unrealistic fantasy and stupid to some of you but to me it's not. 

YOU just don't want to see the possibility of a world that doesn't include gun violence.  It's scary, huh?  We've been doing it so long....living in violence...taking stuff that don't belong to us...how would we manage?

At least we could live another day to try it again if today didn't work out.

*every bit of sarcasm was intended*

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I hear that another kid has been murdered, the fear in my heart for my own children is nearly overwhelming.  I know that these taken away from the world, could have just as easily been mine. They could have been yours.  Do you get that??  Do you understand that each one of these lives create a path towards your very own door?? How many more will be lost before it reaches you?

They all have names:

Baby Hiram Lawrence

Hadiya Pendleton, Trayvon Martin, Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Rachel Davino, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Ana M. Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Dawn Hochsprung, Madeleine F. Hsu, Catherine V. Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli ,Grace McDonnell,  Anne Marie Murphy,  Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto,  Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi,  Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman,   Lauren Rousseau,  Mary Sherlach, Victoria Soto,  Benjamin Wheeler, Allison N. Wyatt, Jonathan Blunk, Alexander J. Boik, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander C. Teves, Rebecca Wingo  and SO many more...... THEY ALL HAVE NAMES!

Newtown, CT

Columbine, CO

Junior Seau

Jovan Belcher & Kasandra Perkins

You betta back it up!!! Back it up!!!

Happy Monday!!!

Soooo, apparently....the Cleveland Bus Driver have a brother in Atlanta.

Yall, hoes gon' learn! Quit flexin' on men unless you want to smell what the Rock is cookin'!

If you're interested in watching the fuckery, by all means,

*courtesy of World Star HipHop* 

Go, 'head....I'll wait.

Ok.... let me start by saying, I don't - DO NOT - condone men being physically, mentally or emotionally abusive to women.....BUT....I don't condone that shit from women to men either.  So with that being said.....I don't feel sorry for her AT ALL....

What was your lasting (almost nagging) message from this video??  For me, I can't get out of my head "Back it up!  Back it up!  Getcha kids! Get your children!  Back it up!"

How many fuckin' times did he have to tell her?  She chose not to listen.  She wanted to act an ass....she and her homegirl.  Which, by the way might I add...after the security guard served that electric current shot of patron straight to that ass....she got awfully quiet!

hahahahahaha....

Yeah, I thought so......back it up!

So here's what I find wrong in this video.  No, not the security guard. He was the last thing that was wrong.  Now, granted - I don't know exactly what happened prior to the recording. I'm under the impression he must have said something to the kids.  So my theory is that she and ol' girl must have been on a baby daddy hunt and she found him, kickin' it with his homeboys....of course, this is unacceptable to the skank at heart.....so she and that classroom of kids more than likely started acting foolish, flexin' up on him and the kids (who obviously are eager participants of ratchetry) were being a nuisance, in front of the business that he is paid to "secure".

She then got up in her emotions.....because 1.) Baby Daddy obviously ain't paying her no mind, feelings hurt by that, 2.) just got checked by security so her feelings got hurt by that - how dare he embarrass her in front of her baby daddy, and 3.) save face! She's gotta show everybody that's witnessed this spectacle how "she ain't the one to be fucked with".

And that my friends is the recipe for a nigga moment: When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong.

I bet you're wondering how "baby daddy" factored into this.  Well, look at the footage.  The whole time this chick is out here acting a damn fool.  Where is he??  He not once came to defuse the situation...or even come to "defend her honor".  Why?  Because he wanted her to go away and he thought with the "authority" of the security guard....she would.  Therefore, I gathered, not only because he claimed them like tax exemptions in the end but also how quickly this sucka stepped up to bang his bird chest like King Kong. He was cool with the pushing and shoving and the security talking hard....but you don' struck lightenin' thru her ass....the hell if I will take these damn kids....you don' lost yo damn mind!

I'm laughed HELLA hard when she got tasered  but this really did make me feel bad for the babies.  These people are parents?  Are these the teachings we really want to pass to the kids? (rhetorical, I know)  "You gay!" "You gay".....he couldn't have been no more than 4.  What does he even know about "gay" and why is that an insult? So, later in life if his willy stands up for Billy and not Jilly....now he's filled with shame...and mixing shame with anger (cuz, she was doing a great lesson on how to be angry).... he's gonna just be a menace to society like his mama. *smh*....Kids learn by example....this is just not cliche....it's REAL!   *smh*  Lord, help us all.

So my message to you ladies (and I know you've heard this before) but if you want to be respected - you've got to respect yourself. IF you decide to hit a man, be prepared to be hit back BY a man. And for the love of all things holy, when you are in front of your children REMEMBER these kids are like sponges...they will absorb everything around them....including this kind of bullshit.....*smh*.....if you don't want anything better for yourself....at least want better for the babies.

So let this be a lesson to ALL you ratchet ass keeping it real ass chicks.....by uppercut or electricity

YOU GON' LEARN TODAY!!

Secure the crime scene and plant this evidence!

You.  Are. Out. Of. Your. Fuckin'. Mind.

Oh, sorry.  Happy Friday and Thank God I made it.

So today's fuckery is sponsored by Pro-Lifers in New Mexico and Medical Personnel Fuckups in NY.


Ok..... so, we've gotta  e a s e  our way into the heaps of bullshit today....cuz these two situations are unbelievable.  No....seriously.  This is stuff you wonder if you're being punked or caught in a nightmare.

Lets move on to this "Tampering With Evidence" in New Mexico.

This morning, an article headline pops up in my newsfeed "New Mexico Lawmakers Say Abortions After Rape Are Criminal For Tampering With Evidence?!" (For details)

This can NOT be serious.  On what level and HOW much CRACK do you smoke that you would ever - EVER think this is acceptable, comprehensible and human???  You mean to tell me, that you would pass a law that would prevent a 10 year old, who's been raped from aborting a pregnancy?  You mean to tell me, that you would FORCE this child to endure continuous mental and physical torture by having to carry her abusers child to term?

GTFOHWDBS!!!

This is definitely the works of that group that said that women are "magical creatures" and are able to shut off their eggs in times of rape so that pregnancy can't/won't happen.....and this is also the group that said some rapes are "legitimate" (of course, some of y'all get raped and you know you want it) .... and it's gotta be that same group that said that a woman is pregnant 2 weeks before she even gets raped...I mean, pregnant...no, raped....oh hell!...the chicken came first, dammit!!  

So basically ladies, according to them.... if you want an abortion....for whatever reason and progression of your life....no matter how young or abused you are.... you're fucked from the time you start bleeding!  Which in my case, since age 9.   Thank God, I wasn't raped then!  I didn't even know what was going on with my vajayjay with something so natural as a menstrual flow so how the hell would they expect me to know how to turn on my supernatural pussy powers???!!

My fear with this whole pro-life and pro-choice debate is that these pro-lifers are so passionate about their beliefs....or is it really desperation at this point....but my fear is that, there are people out there....so fast and hard about what they believe....and so many covert operations in our government.....and these passionate people are in our government, that when passion and desperation meet.....WAR happens and the civilians are always the losers.  Now their debate or "their tactic" to stop abortions is so far from their original argument...:"Life begins at conception"....it's just ridiculous....desperate and quite honestly, I've lost respect for their platform.  Now you want to criminalize the victim.  Shame on you.

I support passion.  I respect passionate people.  "Life begins at conception".....that's simple.  Clear....and debateable.  I can get behind that. I can even SUPPORT that. I'll hear you out about that....but now.....now, you're just grasping for straws.  *smh*

I can go on and on about that....but I'm going to wait this one out.....I'm curious how the debates will go.

*deep breath.....exhale*

So let's move on to NY trying to infect their population with HIV.....and from what I've read, this wasn't the first time they've exposed hundreds of people to the virus (including Hep B & C). (Read Here for more details)

How much do you want to bet, somebody will touch it ...just to make sure?

I don't even know where I'm going to go with my rant about this - I mean how many ways from Sunday can you call people stupid, dumbass, idiots and fuck-ups......I mean, OSHA and CDC have clear cut regulations for patient care procedures that should be followed.  They didn't just sit up and write all this stuff up because they felt like it!  Procedures guidelines are developed to prevent shit from happening because it's necessary!

Have you ever noticed a warning label on an item and thought to yourself...."Duh!"...."This is the dumbest warning"....."why would they put that on there"......umm...it's because it's necessary.....it's because some DUMBASS (at least 5 of 'em....to pick up a trend) that did the very thing that they have to tell you NOT to do.  *smh*  so imagine....5 little dumbasses sitting in a tree, teasing Mr. Alligator....too bad they didn't read the trees warning label.

So when you're in a hospital setting....these guidelines should be followed exactly because of that....because somebody (-ies) did it wrong.  It is NO secret that any equipment that has pierced a person's skin....by puncture or incision....be sterile, disposable or autoclave PROPERLY.....WHY would these people NOT change the needles....or by God....label and store them for the use of THAT individual patient for later use from that SAME patient????  I mean, this isn't even worth discussing because this is just blatant disregard to treating patients properly, mandated regulations and pure laziness.  Now for the rest of their lives these people will wonder "Do I have it"?  Have you ever waited 2 weeks for test results.....the longest 2 weeks in your life.....now the rapid results....the longest rapid 20 minutes in your life.....imagine your WHOLE rest of your life....  Just horrible....*smh*

For information on HIV & AIDS ---> Click Here
For information on Hep B --->Click Here
For information on Hep C ---> Click Here

Well....that's all Imma bitch about today.....I'm gonna ease on down the road and read all warning labels on my way to OZ.

"Psst! Did You Use Your EBT Card"

Bright and early I got hit with a bit of fuckery.

This morning, I stopped at this small convenient store to re-up on my sugar and instant coffee for my desk at work.  Yeah, I'm on my way to work.....with telling evidence of my slightly more fashionable clothes...well, let's call them my "grown up and ironed" clothes...and clue numero uno *drum roll*  my badge hanging from my neck on a lanyard. The noose of employment!

So, I'm standing there....dude ringing up my order....I pass him my debit card....slap my son's hand for continuously trying to put extra shit on my tab....punch in my code....grab my stuff....and some how or another....I think I had to turn to hit or say something to my son again.... and my eyes like...locked with this chick in line....and she whispers....as she's pulling out her's....."Did you use your EBT card"?

I tried to process the question quickly because I needed to answer her.  I mean, I'm not rude most of the time....but it completely processed and although I gave her a small half smile and a slight shake of my head and mouthed "no".....on the inside I was like

Now, as you read on.....don't think this is me climbing up on my soapbox to look down on anybody that receive government assistance.  At one point in my life, for 2 1/2 years of it - I was a recipient of AFDC (Aid for Families with Dependent Children)....yep....I got "a check".  I got food stamps....I got Medi-Cal. I got WIC.  I went to school for free.  I did the whole 9.  I.....was....on.....welfare.

And....I fuckin' hated it.

I hated going to "recertify". I hated the way the office smelled, not to mention some of  my fellow recipients.  I hated the way the case workers talked to me.  I hated how long it took to be seen.  I hated the way they judged me, looking me up and down.  I hated the questions they asked.  I hated the glamorous office decor  à la concrete & plastic. I hated when I didn't get my check or something was wrong with my aid because that meant I had to go to this place that I hated so much...and endure ALL those things that I HATE......But I needed it.  I needed to put food on the table.  I needed access to some kind of healthcare.  So, yeah.  That was my life.

I know that everything I hated is probably set up and designed strategically that way so that people would hate it just as much as I do and did....so they would be encouraged to go get a job.  Well, it worked for me. I know it's not a lifestyle and I had no intentions on staying aid dependent like so many people do.  Government aid is there to HELP people, help themselves. AND that is what I support.  BUT people have made this a "lifestyle" and because I know how belittling it was then....and how the system really does work from a "tough love" angle, that "break-you-down-to-nothing-so-you'll-build-yourself-up" tactic just to get a check that barely puts food on the table for the month and gives them the right to ask you all kinds of personal questions....yeah, it kinda pisses me off and makes me feel a certain kind of way when somebody thinks or assume that I might be the proud owner of an EBT card!  Bitch no.

The struggle is real over here.....hahahahaha! Even though I work every day...for the last 15 - 16 years.....Shooo, I wish I had a fuckin' EBT card!! (no, I really don't...I love working, I love having a job...and I don't want the universe to respond to that....it's just me talking shit. Kay? Thank you.)  I get by....some times better than other times....but I work hard for what I have...

But come on.... is that how we communicate to each other?  Is that the ties that bind us?  Is it because I'm Black that you would just assume that I had an EBT card?  Or even know what it is?  True story:  I just asked my mom yesterday "so their cash aid is on the same card as their food stamps"?  I really didn't know.  I thought a check still came in the mail.  My bad. *shrug*

"Hey girl...how you doing. You use yo EBT"?

It was like she took everything that I've ever worked for in all these years and reduced me to this snob ass bitch, looking down my nose.  Yes, I am and was insulted.  

"How dare you?" 

*in my old white lady British accent*

When we were kids, my Ganny used to send us to the store with food stamps (the paper kind) and it would embarrass us....why?  I don't know... cuz it seemed like every damn body in the neighborhood had 'em. Maybe it's because she also always taught us that just because "you don't have money or don't have a lot of things....YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK OR ACT like it.  We may be poor but people don't need to know, keep your business to yourself"...(I love my Ganny....*sigh*)   And yes, if somebody was like..."I got some stamps. If you take me to the store, I'll get you some food too".... hell to the fuckin' yeah....that's whatchu call barterin'....and yes, I. Takes. Advantage. *rolling my eyes*  

But sweetheart, don't be presumptuous....oh...and while we're on presumption....do you realize that just made you to be just as racist as a republican trying to take away aid (never mind who really needs it or not) just because they believe the majority receiving aid are Black and other minority folks.....because republicans hate black folk....and how do I know....because Kanye said so.

OH - and another thing....

IF I DID USE AN EBT CARD, WHAT BUSINESS IS THAT OF YOURS??? DIDN'T YOU SEE MALCOLM X??

GETCHO HAND OUTTA MY POCKET!!! 

geesh.... ol' nosey ass.....ugggh!

All jokes aside....I know I'll have to go reprocess this and resolve why it insulted me so much.  I know she didn't mean any harm or disrespect...she was decently pulled together (and not trying to judge but come on....you can tell people that's had at least some kind of home training) so it could have taken her just as much courage to "out" herself....I mean, *shrug*...she could be feeling exactly how I felt about receiving aid.....so this is clearly about me.  And I know...there is nothing - NOTHING - that makes me better than or incapable of falling into her situation....whatever that may be.   Truly, with this economy, I fear it every day.  I pray that I never have to ever need aid again.

*exhale*

Robbing the Innocence of our youth.....

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Well, hello stranger......

Well, Happy New Year!

From the looks of it, I haven't written anything since mid-LAST year and for that, I suck.  I can't even tell you what I've been up to or why I haven't written anything because God knows I've had plenty to bitch about.  I think for the most part, it just boils down to pure, unadulterated laziness.....and the fact that my kids have yet again, cracked my laptop screen.   *sigh*  I mean, it still works and if you resize the browser and set it strategically under the cracks, you can still see....but for me, I absolutely fuckin' hate it.  Too distracting for my mind to let go and roam freely....so that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

The year for me has started off, eeeehhhh.... semi-sorta ok.  I mean, I don't have anything to complain about. Well, I do....but....who cares?  Yes, I still see loads of bullshit that chaps my hind parts but *shrug*, I don't know.....I guess with my "getting older, caring less" phase, I just rather let it go.

I didn't set any resolutions for the new year because 1.) I do not keep them and 2.) Keep them, I do not.  HAHAHAHAHA..... ahhhh well......so much for setting goals.

A friend of mine has repeatedly suggested I create a vision board and I have ALL the intentions to give it a try.  I've actually witnessed with my own near-sighted eyes that it works.  She's created vision boards and continuously knocks things off her list.  Honestly, I'm a lil salty about it...(layman's terms: envious)....but I have no one to blame but myself.  But here's the catch - WHAT THE FUCK DO I WANT TO DO WITH MYSELF???  Can't visualize if there's not vision.


So that's where I started...with answering that million dollar question.  Cha-ching!!

First, I had to get to the root of my evils.
Have you ever just been in a place in your life, you take a look around and unbeknownst to you - you discover that you've grown complacent and comfortable in your complacency?  Yeah?  Well, that's sort of me.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm NOT comfortable but the past that I've had, it's been easy to just......"be still".  It's like, I'm almost afraid to do anything outside of my "normal" because I'm scared that the minute something starts feeling "good" and going well - some ugly harsh reality of life will come and screw it all up again.  I've come through a lot of shit with having been diagnosed with depression and panic/anxiety disorder to show for it.  I know for sure if I hadn't gotten "help"....I could have, quite possibly, snapped and ended up on the corner in 30 degree weather, in booty shorts, a fur hat, rain boots, clown make-up (including rainbow wig), singing Broadway show tunes with a British accent. But because I didn't, I really don't have an excuse to being stuck.

I did actually decide towards the end of the year - as a result of a grand epiphany that since SO many people confide in me for my opinions and advice, that I could very well do it for a living. Yeah! THAT'S IT! *lightbulb*....I can get paid to listen to people and their problems!  The truth about it..... I actually enjoy and appreciate that my little ol' insight has been helpful to many people through the years.  And with less than 2 years to go to finish my degree, why not finish with Psychology.  I'm already in the medical field....so.....it just seems natural.  So, I went to visit a college counselor and it ACTUALLY seemed like an achievable goal.  I requested all my transcripts from my previous institutions and when it was time enroll in classes:  FULL!!  EVERY last class - CLOSED to enrollment.  WTF!?!  I started looking at the enrollment for classes that I don't even need....CLOSED!  WHHHHHHAAATTT??? C'mon!!!

If this isn't the worst technicality to throw at a procrastinator, I don't know what is! It's like, how in the hell do I survive on this goal until the next semester.  Don't they know, I'll find another warm cubby whole in the land of Lazy or some other crafting or beading project and find refuge???  Somebody is surely out to destroy me.

But alas, I will stay on target.  I have to....cuz ain't nobody gonna do it for me.