Trayvon, I'm sorry....

As things begin to wrap up with the State vs. George Zimmerman, my heart is aching.  I've taken a strong interest in the outcome of this case because I wanted to see just how fancy they'd be trying to wiggle and defend what he's done and all of the lies he's told. I was interested in seeing just how far we've progressed as a society.  Most importantly, my interest is extremely high in the outcome because  I have a son.

My son is Black.

My son is tall.  

My son is slender. 

My son is athletic.

My son is in good health.

My son has smoked weed. 

My son knows how to defend himself.

My son walks to the store sometimes when it's dark out.

My son wears hoodies and drinks Arizona Teas.

My son is NOT a suspicious person and neither was Trayvon.  

The cold and hard realization of racism, profiling, stereotyping and entitlement can not be ignored in this case.  We can all dance or slide over these underlying currants but the facts of the matter, they exist.  Nobody wants this to be a "racial" issue but it is.  Why was he ever a "suspicious person"? What made him so suspicious??? 

Because George Zimmerman didn't know him? He didn't know George Zimmerman but he didn't pursue him either.Was he suspicious because he wore a hoodie? 
I didn't know it was a particularly odd thing to cover your head when its raining.  So what made him suspicious? So suspicious and menacing that George Zimmerman became so hellbent on  "catching him" and that all of his supposed "fear" was thrown aside?  What made Trayvon suspicious?  Because he was Black.

If you're not a person of African descent, it's very hard for you to understand exactly what IT IS to be Black in America.  Being a woman of African descent, even I can't fully understand what it is to be a BLACK male in America, but I understand and can relate as I've experienced profiling personally in my life. That's not to say that non-blacks can't empathize with the experience but they will never fully understand what life is like to be measured by stereotypes for no reason other than skin color. They will never understand that WE are guilty until proven innocent, when the law clearly gives us the right to be innocent unless proven otherwise. Even in death and unable to tell his side, Trayvon is on trial and apparently, they've proven him guilty of being the one that caused his own death.

We've all speculated as to what would have happened had Trayvon been white and George had been black.  What if they were both white?  What if they were both black? What if Trayvon had the gun and killed George?  I confidently believe that if the races were switched, George would have been arrested on the night of the shooting and this case would be over and George would be on his way to prison.  If it had of been Trayvon who shot George out of self defense, he would have been on his way to prison.  It just is...what it is.  Hate me if you want, but it IS the truth from where I stand.  How sad it is a world we live in that a kid can't walk to the store without being profiled and suspected as being up to no good.  How sad it is a world we live in that a kid can't fight with all his might and will, to defend himself when he was being followed by a grown man, with a gun, that he didn't know....who was lurking....and following him.  How sad that he wasn't given the right and continues to be denied the same rights that George Zimmerman was given. Why is it that Trayvon's self defense isn't being considered in the arguments at all??  Oh, I'm sorry! My mistake it is being considered only not in the light and truth.  That ass kicking George received was him defending himself.... and they've turned it around to be Black aggression and fear for George.

The sad, sad part about this all..... *pause*........NONE of this had to happen.  It all happened because George Zimmerman MADE it happen.  

Trayvon, I'm sorry this world we live in have quantified and reduced the value of your life and the lives of so many young men, like you....like my son.  I'm sorry this world will allow people to develop games and set up Facebook pages to make sadistic, cruel and sick jokes about you.  I'm sorry the process of the law have allowed them to vilify you. I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry you will never be able to tell your side of what happened.  You will never be able to speak of what it felt like to be hunted and having to defend yourself.  You will never be able to do that and I am SO so very sorry.  I'm sorry that "beyond reasonable doubt" only applies to George Zimmerman life, yet he didn't EVER give you THAT simple courtesy the night he took your life. How ironic.  I can only pray that your family will heal from this tragedy whatever the outcome may be.  Your life mattered to SO many people.

I believe you.

Rest In Peace.....

"Iyanla - Fix my life...but make me look good"......

We will all have to face our demons, our vices and our excuses at some point in our lives.  Sometimes, its just before we close our eyes for the last time.   Each and every day you are blessed to walk, breathe and live on this side of the dirt, you know what those are.

So, let me just say this....because I may be biased in my opinion as it pertains to Iyanla Vanzant.  I have long followed her career and her teachings. I know that she is NOT the Bible.  HOWEVER, she doesn't profess to be and for anybody that should speak ill of her ways/her character - it's not about HER.  It's about you.  So let's be very clear.... if YOU think she thinks she's a certain thing....how do you know what SHE thinks?  Did you hear her declare it?  Similarly, when people crinkle their noses up at me and say..."She thinks she's cute."  Quite honestly, I don't  BUT obviously, you do!  *shrug*  I've learned a long time ago... you've gotta let people own their own trash.  Don't go rummaging through their filth.

What sparked me to write this blog is because recently, on Iyanla, Fix My Life - she met with DMX and Sheree Whitfield. If you had a chance to see it, you know these "interventions" didn't go so well.  DMX called her everything but a child of God and well, I didn't even bother to watch Sheree's episode.   I guess I'll have to watch it from DVR.  Today, I saw the headline that Sheree was very displeased with how she "looked" on the episode.  That she, like DMX, was "coerced" into the show under false pretenses.  DMX said that he agreed to do the show to help with his "addiction" to women.  Sheree said she'd do the show to help the "co-parenting" relationship with her estranged husband.

I'm sorry but how do you fix a thing if you don't know what's wrong?  So you have a problem with women, DMX and you wanted to know why? Don't be mad at her for showing you YOURSELF to help you see why.  Everything is cause and effect. You had a shitty childhood, with a wonderful Grandmother that loved you no matter what, fell in love with your wife and a drug problem....add a dash of celebrity and a shitload of money to the mix....sprinkled with groupies...and here you have your answer...BUT instead of ACKNOWLEDGING you wouldn't shut your mouth long enough to hear out your son.  Yeah, great job dad.  He's trying to tell you why HE feels the way he feels about you and all you can do is over talk him and tell him he's wrong for the way HE perceived his childhood with you.  Yep.  Golden star for listening.

As far as Ms. Sheree.... honey, the way you acted on RHOA....do you really think women would be eager to be apart of anything you put together?

"...Sheree’ is committed to empowering and inspiring single moms, divorced moms, and other women dealing with relationship and co-parenting issues. She is working on launching her own foundation which emphasizes the importance of emotional and physical wellness for all women..." (excerpt taken from Love B.Scott)

If you are afraid to be real with yourself and call foul when somebody tried to help you see YOUR ways, why would I believe anything you have to say?  I'm just saying, I'm not interested in any information that she would ever advise about relationships.  Now, her body was nice so if physical wellness is about looking good.... hey, sign me up!  But she need to stay in her lane.  You can't get it right with your own self so good luck with that venture.

I think what it boils down to with everybody running to Iyanla and then can't take the truth is because it truly is about SEEING WHO YOU REALLY ARE in the equation.  BEING HONEST with yourself.  You can lie to the world....but you really do yourself an extreme disservice.  Lying to yourself only make you defensive, on guard and ready to strike because you fear exposure.  That FEAR shows up as neglect, dishonesty, untrustworthy, drug abuse and bad relationships.... but they don't get that.

So, I  can only appreciate what Iyanla attempted to do for these people and anybody else that seeks her guidance but if you're not willing to do the work.... why bother?

Rudy.... girl bye.....

I just got wind of this latest controversy (*gasp* I just realized I'm turning into a gossip blog! yiiikeess!!)  

Well..... whatever......I had to say something about this.....

So, Keshia Knight Pulliam tried to get up in her emotions and say that the pictures of her, caught by the paps,  training for the new competition swim/diving show "Splash" were "modified" to make her look unflattering.  Girl please....you need to stop it.  I lost so much respect for you Rudy for even going there.  Just stop.

The pictures were by no means "unflattering".  You were training. In a pool. Looking normal. As a matter of fact, you looked great for a sister that's been in chlorine for hours with wet hair!   GTFOH!  This ol' Baby Beyonce' tantrum is too much.  Really. Just stop.

You're trippin' on these pictures goes against your "inspiration" that you spoke of on Wendy Williams.  You spoke of not having African American female representation in the competitive diving arena and your organization is all about instilling purpose and drive in young women and this was an opportunity for you to be the example....but then you turn around on some ol' Hollywood vanity shit and claim foul on these pictures.  HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN???

Let me guess.... you wanted or expected to look like the promo pictures? 

I could go on and on about how you have just perpetuated the whole notion that if you don't look like the promo picture, which is OBVIOUSLY photoshopped, that you some how aren't beautiful.  Being a person that have developed an organization to  mentor young ladies, to empower them to believe in themselves and strengthen their confidence so they believe they're beautiful, however they come.... is SUCH a contradiction..... hypocritical even.  This is the stuff that make girls bulemic/anorexic, go get cement/fix-a-flat butt shots and spend thousands of dollars in plastic surgery....because celebrities....try to make it that they looks photoshopped all day, every day.....and you don't.  You are normal people just like us.....and US take "ugly" pictures sometimes. *shrug*

Yes, we all get snapped taking a picture that we don't like of ourselves....get caught in an "unflattering" angle or light.  We all get to see the picture first and we all have said, "uuuggghh girl...delete that one, take another one" - that's the normal natural "keeping it real" side of us who playfully want to be immortalized in the best way possible....but to go as far as to say...."it was edited" is pretty lame.  Shame on you.

All I'm saying is this, own up to the "ugly" pictures....so what!  You're human.....most of us mere mortals look at the ugly pictures after years passed and laugh like shit about how "ugly" they are.

Keep it real.

Vanilla Soul.....

Hey puddin'..... this post is totally random but hey, I'm back.

I just had to come and talk about this..... I had to tell somebody.... anybody.... 

Did you all watch the Grammy's..... and did you see Justin Timberlake's segment?  Performing his new joint, "Suit & Tie"?  Yeah, the one with Jay Z.....well the song that he did after Suit & Tie???  Yes!  That's my shit!!!


Didn't know the name of it but I found out today that it's, "Pusher Love Girl"..... oh emm gee!  

When I first heard, "Suit & Tie" I wasn't sure how I felt about it... I mean, I liked it....I was so glad to see JT was back doing music but then the video was all classic and whatnot - something I LOVE.... the whole sexy, black and white, old Hollywood glamour and mystery so I was sold.  But when he hit me with this "Pusher Love Girl" .....

Yesssss baby!
JT is BACK!!! 

I am such a fan of Justin.  He comes off as a real cool dude.  I could be wrong because I only know what I see, but he seems to be an upstanding character. His music has always been on point and most everything I've seen him in as an actor I've NJoyed.  Don't get me started on how much I LOVE his skits on SNL! hahahaha! He's hella funny.   I love that he is doing his "Grown Man" thing right now and I'm hoping that the rest of the 20/20 is as dope as what's "previewed" so far.

But before I finish this up....I had to put this out there.

Do you guys know about my sexy British Beefcake boyfriend, Daniel de Bourg?  No?  Whaaaatttt.... honey, get in to it!  Well, I had to include his YouTube because he RIPPED this song.... and it ain't even "out" yet!  um um ummm!!  Delicious!

Eye for an I.....

By now I'm sure many of you have heard about the manhunt for Christopher Jordan Dorner.  If not, here's a link to the story:

Rogue Cop - The Manhunt

*sigh*

I didn't really pay attention to the headlines at first.  I thought it was another "civilian" gone mad....but it got interesting enough for me to pay attention when I realized it was a cop who was on this actual killing rampage.  Why did that make it worthwhile to begin to follow?  Well, cops are suppose to be the good guys and a cop turning on cops....*shrug*....is interesting.  Now, I'm like, "WHAT made him snap"? So, I'm paying a little bit more attention to it.

I have read some of his manifesto.  It's pretty long....but here's the link if you want to read it.  Honestly, it's far too much for me to read and ain't nobody got time for that...but I think I got the jest of it.  

So.....what do I think?

Thanks Tupac.  I couldn't have said it better myself.

If you didn't watch the video, basically what he said was and I'm SO putting this into my own words:

"I asked nicely more than once, more than twice....I'm tired of asking...so now you're just gonna give me what I want....by any means necessary".

Horrible summation so you should probably hear him say it....plus.....the visual is much better.

Hate me if you will, but it's the truth.

I DO NOT - DO NOT - DO NOT condone what he's doing but....*thinking*  I guess I can see how and why he snapped.  Is it really a secret of how corrupt LAPD is?  If it is, where the hell have you been?

I've always heard about this "code" - basically that cops don't rat out other cops.  No matter what it is:  Drug abuse, drug trafficking, sexual exploitation, domestic violence....even murder.  So if anybody goes against the grain of that, they're cast out of the circle and blackballed, for life.  When good guys become the real bad guys, the real good guys become the bad guys for not being the good guys to protect the bad guys that want to look like good guys.  A little confusing but I'm sure you got it.....or you just didn't want to get it.  It's irony at it's finest.

So, Dorner's position of fighting for his name and honor - for doing what was "right" through all these years, fighting for the freedoms and protection of our country, only to be blackballed and unable to work because his name, his reputation, his legacy has been tarnished......*thinking*.....yeah, I could the desperation and frustration, the feeling of being slapped in the face. If he had children, they will suffer from this too....so yeah, this is a dark hole with no light.   I don't think he's going about it the right way....but who's going to listen to him.  Who's gonna give him the opportunity to live/leave this life with dignity?

Nobody.

Especially not now.  

He has nothing to lose.

Yeah, he could have gone away without this HORRIFIC situation at hand.  NOBODY should be dead right now....nobody!!  So please don't misconstrue my words to support his actions in any way.....EVER.  I think killing people to make a point is the DUMBEST thing that ANYBODY could ever do.  Beside, there's no point in me saying, he deserves to be punished so severely even it if means the death penalty because as far as he's concerned, he died a long time ago and I'm not foolish enough to think he's coming out of this alive...taken by his hand or theirs.

Let this be yet another reason why stiffer gun laws are necessary and let this be a reminder to the police officers who take an OATH to uphold the law, protect the people of each and every borough, ghetto, city, town, state, crack and/or crevice, that YOU are not above the law,  you're under it just like the rest of us....not everybody will or want to abuse their authority!

The real sad part about this story.....not even that innocent people have died......but that innocent people will die.  Innocent people will still be hurt, killed, mistreated by these kinds of cops and 9-11 calls will continued to be ignored or taken when "they're ready to respond".  The sad part is that bad cops will still unlawfully detain and exercise excessive force on detainees.  The sad part is that ALL of these allegations will be swept back under the rug....again.  This unfortunate situation will be just another blip on the radar of "unfortunate situations".

“Tempt not a desperate man.”

William Shakespeare

It's Friday!

Well hello beautiful people!

Yes, yes, yes!  We've made it to Friday and for that I am grateful.  It's pay day too.....

and the rents due.... 

hahahaha, yep..... that's pretty much what Friday's are like for me now.  Well, at least the first Friday of the month.  Looking back through the years, I noticed how "Friday" changed for me.

When I was a kid, I couldn't wait until Friday!! That meant I didn't have to get up early for school the next day.  I could possibly have friends sleepover or I could go sleepover at a friends house!!!  Friday's meant Saturday morning cartoons and my mom ALWAYS cooked a bomb ass breakfast on Saturday and Sunday. Yeeeeessss! Friday was the gateway to happiness!

Then in my "early twinkling twenties" I couldn't wait for Friday to come!  That meant I didn't have to get up early for work the next day...not that it mattered because I'd party  6 days a week and still go to work the next day. Fridays meant, I could possibly have a friend sleep over or sleep over at a friends (hehehehehe...)...Friday's meant taking the kids to my parents so I can go out and PARTTTTTTAY!  Friday's meant getting wasted and not worrying about trying to pull myself together because I could literally turn myself into a hermit crab and nurse my hangover.  And during this time...when I would move back to my parents....and didn't have rent... Friday's meant I was going SHOPPING!!! Woooo whoo!

Going into my late twenties - early 30's, Fridays meant....THANK GOD I don't have to come to work tomorrow to see these people anymore.  One more day of this bullshit and I'd be catching a case and ain't nobody got time for that.  Fridays meant the beginning of a weekend getaway to relax or it meant spending a day out with the kids so I can act juvenile enough to let out my stress.  Fridays meant that after work, I'd be finding me a good hard shot of some kind of alcohol, not to get drunk, but just to even out.....to unwind.... and friends don't spend the night much anymore....

Now at my age...Fridays mean I just need to get up out of bed before 10am because I have to get to the bank and post office before they close....so I can come back home and do everything that I didn't have time to do during the week - laundry, cleaning: bathrooms, kitchen, carpets, washing my hair....Payday Friday, only means my phone will ring less because I was able to stuff a bill in somebody's mouth about the services I'm using....cable, pg & e, smud...... RENT.  hahahaha...

So yeah...., Friday's don't quite feel the same anymore.

My eyes are bleeding!!! INCEPTION!

Happy Wednesday!!

So, I wanted to share with you all a bit of a dream I had.... last night.....or this morning.... I don't know....while I was sleep.

ANYWHO......

What I can remember, I was washing makeup off of my face and I believe there was a guy with me...and I think it was somebody that I like....*thinking*....I'm fuzzy on that but while I'm trying to recall what happened, I'm getting the feeling that there was somebody there with me that I didn't want to be embarrassed and I'm feeling "love" or "affection".....that fuzzy feeling when you're around somebody you like.....yeah, that's the feeling that I'm having right now.

So, why this person is around me while I'm cleaning my face, I have no idea.  Because 1.) my hygiene maintenance is sacred private time... and 2.)  If I'm with a person that I'm crushing on....ain't NO way I'm taking off my makeup! hahahahaha  so you know this was a dream. hahahahaha!   So anyway, I'm wiping my eyes and I guess my fingernail cut the inside of my eyelid.  Blood started to pour out from my eye...and I grabbed a towel and went to find somebody to help.  

I found my dad and although I don't remember seeing her....I know my mom was there....because I could feel her.  So he looked into my eye and he said, "let's go to the hospital".  My mom (yeah, I see her now)....says, "Let me look" and when I lifted my eyelid, blood spilled out, running down my face, dripping to the carpet.  

Well, that's about as much as I remember but when I got to work today, I decided to look up the symbolic meaning of "bleeding eyes".  I'm very much into dream interpretation so I found it to be very interesting that it said this: 

Bleeding Eyes (Via Dream Moods)
To dream that your eyes are bleeding symbolizes the sacrifices your have made and the difficulties you have endured. Alternatively, the dream signifies some very deep pain or internal conflict within your soul. Although you may not feel any physical pain, you are hurting inside. Perhaps you have been hiding the pain for so long that you forgot what pain feels like. There is some unrest or uneasiness within which needs to be addressed and resolved immediately.

And on Go To Horoscope - Dream Dictionary

When you dream about eyes, the dream may be telling you that you need to literally look within yourself for an important answer to a problem you may be having, or that the answer you seek may have been right before your eyes all along. Alternatively, dreaming about one eye usually means that you are being too one sided on a particular viewpoint, and maybe you should open yourself up to new perspectives. 

If you knew me and my journey..... you would know why I'm all like "WOW" right now.  You'd know why this all makes sense to me. My life has been of many sacrifices and within the last 10 years or so, I've lost people that I just didn't think would ever go away and when they did, I didn't know how I'd make it without them.  The lost of my father and my sister, left pain so deep there were moments that I just knew I'd snap.  The internal conflict is very familiar and personal.  There's some current family situations that do have my uneasy and I guess the message from the dream is to get them resolved....and NOW! I just don't know if I should say something... or just let it go....if I do say something...how do I say it.....it's just a lot.....*sigh*

I have always been pretty intuitive.....and I get messages a lot in my dreams. I noticed this "gift" when I was about 11, or 12.  My grandmother was killed in a train crash and that was the first time I EVER really dealt with death and dying.  So one night after she had been buried... I had a dream I went to visit her.  It felt soooo real.  Now mind you, this dream was over 25 years ago....and I remember it like I just had it last week!  The message she left with me, came to be......and when it did......I just cried....because she told me....in my dream.....it would happen.

I guess this is probably why I enjoyed the movie Inception so much. I know to some of you the concept of thinking was SO far out that it got confusing....and the only thing that I didn't "accept" was them being able to get into each others dreams.  But the general premise of how dreams work....I was so into it.

So, I think I better.....pay attention to this.... and act accordingly.

Have you ever had a dream.....that came true?

How many more??

I don't really know how to start this one off today.  I mean, I know the psuedo-theme of what this blog appear to be:

 me getting on my high horse to rant about something....I know I may look like just another angry, foul-mouthed, deeply opinionated Black chick with nothing better to do with herself but complain....and for the sake of argument and because I need you to really LISTEN to what I'm saying on this particular post, *shrug*......ok.  I can accept that.

But in my defense, I really do try to bring a message or simply an alternative way of thinking about a certain thing.  You know, some food for thought....even something to spark a debate.  I love a good debate.  Did you know that even if we don't agree, it's ok.  That's what makes the world go 'round.  It's shaped like a circle for a reason. I'm just saying.....

So I guess, in theory, this post would be pretty much the same because well,.....I'm MAD. I may even curse.  I have very STRONG opinions about this "gun law" topic that's been so heavy in the news....And if that makes me a one trick pony....then lets start the show!

Hadiya Pendleton, gunned down in Chicago.

How many more?  How many more children will we lose to gun violence?  How many more mothers/fathers will weep over their child's remains, plan funerals and live the rest of their days  wondering....why, my baby?  How many more?  How many more friends will have to pull out pictures and say, "I remember when we...." or "When we grew up, we were going to..."?  How many more memorials erect on our street corners?  How many more candles will be burned? How many more headlines must we read and shake our heads in disbelief? How many more news segments must we watch in horror? How many more?  I'm asking... Who's shoulder must it be, that's looked over with fear before we say, "enough is enough"?

Not long ago, I was talking with my kids and just out of curiosity and concerned, I asked them, "Are you afraid at all with all of the random things that happen out there? Are you....desensitized to death"?  Their answers were  heartbreaking, to say the least.  Do you know how it feels to look in you're children's eyes and listen when they say:

"It's real out here. Any day or any time we go to school or a function or whatever, you can get clapped. You gotta know who to roll with.... I know who to roll with.  You always gotta keep somebody in the circle that's holding...you don't know what's gonna pop off these days. But hey...if I die, I die. But I'm not gonna live my life in fear.  If that was the case, I'd be scared to go outside."

Do you know how it feels to hear that....and know that even though they continued on, teasing me about being the worried, protective, doting mother that I am, whilst imitating my "scared" voice and over exaggerating EVERY thing about me.....I had to "laugh" it off but my whole entire heart bled.  How is it that MY children are so nonchalant about death and dying by violence? More shockingly for me that THEY ACTUALLY KNOW and have friends that carry! A while back, I let my son go to "a function"...and if you don't know, that's what the kids call house parties today.  Well, during this party some kids came, started reppin' hoods and as expected gun fire rang out.  My son, retold what happened, said he was close enough to see see the strobe lights from guns being discharged.  He told me that he and a friend ran to a nearby friend's house and waited about an hour before he called to be picked up....just so my mother, wouldn't drive into a live show down.  Proud, that he was fast to leave and get to safety and proud that he considered my mother's safety so he waited til it all settled down but ANY one of those bullets could have been a police call to ME telling me to come identify a body. The body of MY child.....and for me, these are the shoulders that are being looked over that make ME say, "enough is enough"!  My children do NOT live in Beirut!

***

People are pushing back so hard against gun laws, saying it's in our Constitution to "bear arms"....yeah...well, it is....but the Constitution was also written in 1787, when guns were...."necessary".  Necessary for the enslavement of people and necessary for the protection and/or acquisition of land and maybe, even necessary for shootin' a little food. There aren't any horse riding, bandanna wearing, gun slinging bandits, charging in our towns on dusty roads.  There will be no showdowns at high noon. Guns back then were necessary for intimidation.  In 2013,  we have other efficient, non-violent means of doing these things, so I don't think we have those issues anymore....or do we?  

Yeah. Chew on that for a minute....Eat it. Digest it and tell me what comes out on the other end....

I'll wait.

Bullshit?  Right?  Yeah, I thought so.

Look.  I'm not trying to make this a racial issue at all. It's SOOOOOOO far from "race" it's ridiculous. Although with each soul lost or some tragic event of gun violence that surround minority youths, some how it's not a big deal. Yes, I've seen comments time and time again that take it there (some sad soul trolling articles) but people, really....this is a GOVERNMENT issue.

Trayvon Martin

I know why they won't change anything initially written in the Constitution.  Because once you change one thing in the Constitution, then ALL things that have been written in the Constitution can be changed.  And that my friends,  is something we don't want for ourselves. NONE of US.  Sorry to say it....but it is....what it is.

HOWEVER, FEDERAL LAWS CAN BE MADE to walk sooooo fine the line of what is constitutional and what is not... They CANpass laws that will make it nearly impossible for people to get guns. Then the next step is how do we get these guns off the streets and out of the hands of our children....or the bad guys?  I dont' think that's a beast anybody is ready to tame.  Lazy, I guess.

(I know there's black market money that feed into the government....I know this "no gun thing" would put a dent in somebody's pocket.)

The one thing I hate to hear is "Guns don't kill people. People kill people".
NO!! People with GUNS kill people!
I remember giving my mother this motivational speech once because she desperately wants my niece to lose weight.  "Well, she can't eat what you don't buy" and I feel the same about this NRA motto!  Seriously, can you shoot somebody if you don't have a gun? Makes sense to me.... duh!  Cause and Effect..... something we all learned in school and something so many haven't even lived long enough to take the test on.

When I was coming up, WE knew who had guns....we also knew these were the "bad guys". They had guns because everybody wanted to be "GANGSTA"....then it got to be....well, if he got a gun - I got a gun.......everybody wanna be GANGSTA.....then the guns started going off.   I can think back to my old neighborhood and seriously, EVERYBODY is dead.....by gun violence. I just saw a picture a childhood friend posted on Facebook of the boys on the block....and how sad it was to see them all....and one by one, I pointed out.....he's dead.....he's dead....he's dead..... *Sigh*

It ain't right.....

I believe that if you aren't protecting the US President or a fighting military soldier, you don't NEED a gun.

BUT I'M A SPORTS HUNTER AND I NEED MY RIFLE!! 
Rent 'em and return 'em.

BUT I LIKE TO GO TO THE SHOOTING RANGE!!!
Rent 'em and return 'em.

BUT I WANT TO PROTECT MY HOUSE AND MY FAMILY!!
Intruder - Beat 'em and return 'em!

Hell, in my perfect world, the police wouldn't even have guns!  With all of the trigger happy, scared, over-reacting police out there....THEY need their guns taken too!  But like I said.  They're scared....scared because the people they take an oath to protect have guns and the bad guys they need to catch have even BIGGER guns!   Why would my neighbor need an AK-47????

Oscar Grant

*******

I know this may seem like an unrealistic fantasy and stupid to some of you but to me it's not. 

YOU just don't want to see the possibility of a world that doesn't include gun violence.  It's scary, huh?  We've been doing it so long....living in violence...taking stuff that don't belong to us...how would we manage?

At least we could live another day to try it again if today didn't work out.

*every bit of sarcasm was intended*

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I hear that another kid has been murdered, the fear in my heart for my own children is nearly overwhelming.  I know that these taken away from the world, could have just as easily been mine. They could have been yours.  Do you get that??  Do you understand that each one of these lives create a path towards your very own door?? How many more will be lost before it reaches you?

They all have names:

Baby Hiram Lawrence

Hadiya Pendleton, Trayvon Martin, Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Rachel Davino, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Ana M. Marquez-Greene, Dylan Hockley, Dawn Hochsprung, Madeleine F. Hsu, Catherine V. Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli ,Grace McDonnell,  Anne Marie Murphy,  Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto,  Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi,  Jessica Rekos, Avielle Richman,   Lauren Rousseau,  Mary Sherlach, Victoria Soto,  Benjamin Wheeler, Allison N. Wyatt, Jonathan Blunk, Alexander J. Boik, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, Alexander C. Teves, Rebecca Wingo  and SO many more...... THEY ALL HAVE NAMES!

Newtown, CT

Columbine, CO

Junior Seau

Jovan Belcher & Kasandra Perkins

You betta back it up!!! Back it up!!!

Happy Monday!!!

Soooo, apparently....the Cleveland Bus Driver have a brother in Atlanta.

Yall, hoes gon' learn! Quit flexin' on men unless you want to smell what the Rock is cookin'!

If you're interested in watching the fuckery, by all means,

*courtesy of World Star HipHop* 

Go, 'head....I'll wait.

Ok.... let me start by saying, I don't - DO NOT - condone men being physically, mentally or emotionally abusive to women.....BUT....I don't condone that shit from women to men either.  So with that being said.....I don't feel sorry for her AT ALL....

What was your lasting (almost nagging) message from this video??  For me, I can't get out of my head "Back it up!  Back it up!  Getcha kids! Get your children!  Back it up!"

How many fuckin' times did he have to tell her?  She chose not to listen.  She wanted to act an ass....she and her homegirl.  Which, by the way might I add...after the security guard served that electric current shot of patron straight to that ass....she got awfully quiet!

hahahahahaha....

Yeah, I thought so......back it up!

So here's what I find wrong in this video.  No, not the security guard. He was the last thing that was wrong.  Now, granted - I don't know exactly what happened prior to the recording. I'm under the impression he must have said something to the kids.  So my theory is that she and ol' girl must have been on a baby daddy hunt and she found him, kickin' it with his homeboys....of course, this is unacceptable to the skank at heart.....so she and that classroom of kids more than likely started acting foolish, flexin' up on him and the kids (who obviously are eager participants of ratchetry) were being a nuisance, in front of the business that he is paid to "secure".

She then got up in her emotions.....because 1.) Baby Daddy obviously ain't paying her no mind, feelings hurt by that, 2.) just got checked by security so her feelings got hurt by that - how dare he embarrass her in front of her baby daddy, and 3.) save face! She's gotta show everybody that's witnessed this spectacle how "she ain't the one to be fucked with".

And that my friends is the recipe for a nigga moment: When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong.

I bet you're wondering how "baby daddy" factored into this.  Well, look at the footage.  The whole time this chick is out here acting a damn fool.  Where is he??  He not once came to defuse the situation...or even come to "defend her honor".  Why?  Because he wanted her to go away and he thought with the "authority" of the security guard....she would.  Therefore, I gathered, not only because he claimed them like tax exemptions in the end but also how quickly this sucka stepped up to bang his bird chest like King Kong. He was cool with the pushing and shoving and the security talking hard....but you don' struck lightenin' thru her ass....the hell if I will take these damn kids....you don' lost yo damn mind!

I'm laughed HELLA hard when she got tasered  but this really did make me feel bad for the babies.  These people are parents?  Are these the teachings we really want to pass to the kids? (rhetorical, I know)  "You gay!" "You gay".....he couldn't have been no more than 4.  What does he even know about "gay" and why is that an insult? So, later in life if his willy stands up for Billy and not Jilly....now he's filled with shame...and mixing shame with anger (cuz, she was doing a great lesson on how to be angry).... he's gonna just be a menace to society like his mama. *smh*....Kids learn by example....this is just not cliche....it's REAL!   *smh*  Lord, help us all.

So my message to you ladies (and I know you've heard this before) but if you want to be respected - you've got to respect yourself. IF you decide to hit a man, be prepared to be hit back BY a man. And for the love of all things holy, when you are in front of your children REMEMBER these kids are like sponges...they will absorb everything around them....including this kind of bullshit.....*smh*.....if you don't want anything better for yourself....at least want better for the babies.

So let this be a lesson to ALL you ratchet ass keeping it real ass chicks.....by uppercut or electricity

YOU GON' LEARN TODAY!!

Secure the crime scene and plant this evidence!

You.  Are. Out. Of. Your. Fuckin'. Mind.

Oh, sorry.  Happy Friday and Thank God I made it.

So today's fuckery is sponsored by Pro-Lifers in New Mexico and Medical Personnel Fuckups in NY.


Ok..... so, we've gotta  e a s e  our way into the heaps of bullshit today....cuz these two situations are unbelievable.  No....seriously.  This is stuff you wonder if you're being punked or caught in a nightmare.

Lets move on to this "Tampering With Evidence" in New Mexico.

This morning, an article headline pops up in my newsfeed "New Mexico Lawmakers Say Abortions After Rape Are Criminal For Tampering With Evidence?!" (For details)

This can NOT be serious.  On what level and HOW much CRACK do you smoke that you would ever - EVER think this is acceptable, comprehensible and human???  You mean to tell me, that you would pass a law that would prevent a 10 year old, who's been raped from aborting a pregnancy?  You mean to tell me, that you would FORCE this child to endure continuous mental and physical torture by having to carry her abusers child to term?

GTFOHWDBS!!!

This is definitely the works of that group that said that women are "magical creatures" and are able to shut off their eggs in times of rape so that pregnancy can't/won't happen.....and this is also the group that said some rapes are "legitimate" (of course, some of y'all get raped and you know you want it) .... and it's gotta be that same group that said that a woman is pregnant 2 weeks before she even gets raped...I mean, pregnant...no, raped....oh hell!...the chicken came first, dammit!!  

So basically ladies, according to them.... if you want an abortion....for whatever reason and progression of your life....no matter how young or abused you are.... you're fucked from the time you start bleeding!  Which in my case, since age 9.   Thank God, I wasn't raped then!  I didn't even know what was going on with my vajayjay with something so natural as a menstrual flow so how the hell would they expect me to know how to turn on my supernatural pussy powers???!!

My fear with this whole pro-life and pro-choice debate is that these pro-lifers are so passionate about their beliefs....or is it really desperation at this point....but my fear is that, there are people out there....so fast and hard about what they believe....and so many covert operations in our government.....and these passionate people are in our government, that when passion and desperation meet.....WAR happens and the civilians are always the losers.  Now their debate or "their tactic" to stop abortions is so far from their original argument...:"Life begins at conception"....it's just ridiculous....desperate and quite honestly, I've lost respect for their platform.  Now you want to criminalize the victim.  Shame on you.

I support passion.  I respect passionate people.  "Life begins at conception".....that's simple.  Clear....and debateable.  I can get behind that. I can even SUPPORT that. I'll hear you out about that....but now.....now, you're just grasping for straws.  *smh*

I can go on and on about that....but I'm going to wait this one out.....I'm curious how the debates will go.

*deep breath.....exhale*

So let's move on to NY trying to infect their population with HIV.....and from what I've read, this wasn't the first time they've exposed hundreds of people to the virus (including Hep B & C). (Read Here for more details)

How much do you want to bet, somebody will touch it ...just to make sure?

I don't even know where I'm going to go with my rant about this - I mean how many ways from Sunday can you call people stupid, dumbass, idiots and fuck-ups......I mean, OSHA and CDC have clear cut regulations for patient care procedures that should be followed.  They didn't just sit up and write all this stuff up because they felt like it!  Procedures guidelines are developed to prevent shit from happening because it's necessary!

Have you ever noticed a warning label on an item and thought to yourself...."Duh!"...."This is the dumbest warning"....."why would they put that on there"......umm...it's because it's necessary.....it's because some DUMBASS (at least 5 of 'em....to pick up a trend) that did the very thing that they have to tell you NOT to do.  *smh*  so imagine....5 little dumbasses sitting in a tree, teasing Mr. Alligator....too bad they didn't read the trees warning label.

So when you're in a hospital setting....these guidelines should be followed exactly because of that....because somebody (-ies) did it wrong.  It is NO secret that any equipment that has pierced a person's skin....by puncture or incision....be sterile, disposable or autoclave PROPERLY.....WHY would these people NOT change the needles....or by God....label and store them for the use of THAT individual patient for later use from that SAME patient????  I mean, this isn't even worth discussing because this is just blatant disregard to treating patients properly, mandated regulations and pure laziness.  Now for the rest of their lives these people will wonder "Do I have it"?  Have you ever waited 2 weeks for test results.....the longest 2 weeks in your life.....now the rapid results....the longest rapid 20 minutes in your life.....imagine your WHOLE rest of your life....  Just horrible....*smh*

For information on HIV & AIDS ---> Click Here
For information on Hep B --->Click Here
For information on Hep C ---> Click Here

Well....that's all Imma bitch about today.....I'm gonna ease on down the road and read all warning labels on my way to OZ.

"Psst! Did You Use Your EBT Card"

Bright and early I got hit with a bit of fuckery.

This morning, I stopped at this small convenient store to re-up on my sugar and instant coffee for my desk at work.  Yeah, I'm on my way to work.....with telling evidence of my slightly more fashionable clothes...well, let's call them my "grown up and ironed" clothes...and clue numero uno *drum roll*  my badge hanging from my neck on a lanyard. The noose of employment!

So, I'm standing there....dude ringing up my order....I pass him my debit card....slap my son's hand for continuously trying to put extra shit on my tab....punch in my code....grab my stuff....and some how or another....I think I had to turn to hit or say something to my son again.... and my eyes like...locked with this chick in line....and she whispers....as she's pulling out her's....."Did you use your EBT card"?

I tried to process the question quickly because I needed to answer her.  I mean, I'm not rude most of the time....but it completely processed and although I gave her a small half smile and a slight shake of my head and mouthed "no".....on the inside I was like

Now, as you read on.....don't think this is me climbing up on my soapbox to look down on anybody that receive government assistance.  At one point in my life, for 2 1/2 years of it - I was a recipient of AFDC (Aid for Families with Dependent Children)....yep....I got "a check".  I got food stamps....I got Medi-Cal. I got WIC.  I went to school for free.  I did the whole 9.  I.....was....on.....welfare.

And....I fuckin' hated it.

I hated going to "recertify". I hated the way the office smelled, not to mention some of  my fellow recipients.  I hated the way the case workers talked to me.  I hated how long it took to be seen.  I hated the way they judged me, looking me up and down.  I hated the questions they asked.  I hated the glamorous office decor  à la concrete & plastic. I hated when I didn't get my check or something was wrong with my aid because that meant I had to go to this place that I hated so much...and endure ALL those things that I HATE......But I needed it.  I needed to put food on the table.  I needed access to some kind of healthcare.  So, yeah.  That was my life.

I know that everything I hated is probably set up and designed strategically that way so that people would hate it just as much as I do and did....so they would be encouraged to go get a job.  Well, it worked for me. I know it's not a lifestyle and I had no intentions on staying aid dependent like so many people do.  Government aid is there to HELP people, help themselves. AND that is what I support.  BUT people have made this a "lifestyle" and because I know how belittling it was then....and how the system really does work from a "tough love" angle, that "break-you-down-to-nothing-so-you'll-build-yourself-up" tactic just to get a check that barely puts food on the table for the month and gives them the right to ask you all kinds of personal questions....yeah, it kinda pisses me off and makes me feel a certain kind of way when somebody thinks or assume that I might be the proud owner of an EBT card!  Bitch no.

The struggle is real over here.....hahahahaha! Even though I work every day...for the last 15 - 16 years.....Shooo, I wish I had a fuckin' EBT card!! (no, I really don't...I love working, I love having a job...and I don't want the universe to respond to that....it's just me talking shit. Kay? Thank you.)  I get by....some times better than other times....but I work hard for what I have...

But come on.... is that how we communicate to each other?  Is that the ties that bind us?  Is it because I'm Black that you would just assume that I had an EBT card?  Or even know what it is?  True story:  I just asked my mom yesterday "so their cash aid is on the same card as their food stamps"?  I really didn't know.  I thought a check still came in the mail.  My bad. *shrug*

"Hey girl...how you doing. You use yo EBT"?

It was like she took everything that I've ever worked for in all these years and reduced me to this snob ass bitch, looking down my nose.  Yes, I am and was insulted.  

"How dare you?" 

*in my old white lady British accent*

When we were kids, my Ganny used to send us to the store with food stamps (the paper kind) and it would embarrass us....why?  I don't know... cuz it seemed like every damn body in the neighborhood had 'em. Maybe it's because she also always taught us that just because "you don't have money or don't have a lot of things....YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK OR ACT like it.  We may be poor but people don't need to know, keep your business to yourself"...(I love my Ganny....*sigh*)   And yes, if somebody was like..."I got some stamps. If you take me to the store, I'll get you some food too".... hell to the fuckin' yeah....that's whatchu call barterin'....and yes, I. Takes. Advantage. *rolling my eyes*  

But sweetheart, don't be presumptuous....oh...and while we're on presumption....do you realize that just made you to be just as racist as a republican trying to take away aid (never mind who really needs it or not) just because they believe the majority receiving aid are Black and other minority folks.....because republicans hate black folk....and how do I know....because Kanye said so.

OH - and another thing....

IF I DID USE AN EBT CARD, WHAT BUSINESS IS THAT OF YOURS??? DIDN'T YOU SEE MALCOLM X??

GETCHO HAND OUTTA MY POCKET!!! 

geesh.... ol' nosey ass.....ugggh!

All jokes aside....I know I'll have to go reprocess this and resolve why it insulted me so much.  I know she didn't mean any harm or disrespect...she was decently pulled together (and not trying to judge but come on....you can tell people that's had at least some kind of home training) so it could have taken her just as much courage to "out" herself....I mean, *shrug*...she could be feeling exactly how I felt about receiving aid.....so this is clearly about me.  And I know...there is nothing - NOTHING - that makes me better than or incapable of falling into her situation....whatever that may be.   Truly, with this economy, I fear it every day.  I pray that I never have to ever need aid again.

*exhale*